I don't know what to do

[ajksfs]

Me and my girlfriend have been long distance dating for about a year, but as time went on i have just stopped being attracted to her. I still love talking to her, and we talk everyday, but I would rather have her as a friend rather than a girlfriend. The thing is, she has done so much for me (flew out to my state, helped me with school, etc.) that I feel really bad trying to break this off. Additionally, I feel as tho she is really attached to me and if I break up with her she will be very heartbroken and do poorly in school. I don't want to be a bad person, but I really don't want to get even further into this relationship if I just don't want to be in it anymore. What do I do?

[Markdg61]

LDR can be very trying and tiresome at times. Maybe if you take some time, not communicate for a week or so and see how you feel then. You may find that you really miss her and your feelings will change.

[Fuzzyfeeling]

Have you heard of the movie frozen?




😉

[TheEvilJester]

LOL! Good reference, Fuzzy! I actually agree with both of the folks above me here. I think as your first step you should try taking a short sort of unofficial break as Mark is suggesting. In other words, not that you actually tell her anything is wrong or tell her you need a break. Just maybe tell her you have a lot of school work that week or something and use it as an excuse to see how you feel without her. As Mark mentioned, long distance relationships can be very hard. So, before you actually decide to let her go, you may want to make sure that is really what you want. Maybe it is just that the long distance issue is making it hard, and after taking a short break from her you will realize you missed her like crazy and don't want to lose her.

Or perhaps you will find, after that break, that you really DO just want to be friends with her and nothing more. If that is the case, believe me, I understand you mean the best in not wanting to hurt her..... but it would hurt her more being with somebody who doesn't really love her in that way then it would if you break up with her. Don't you think she deserves to be with somebody who loves her like crazy? For that matter, don't you think YOU deserve to be with somebody for whom you are crazy in love? So, you are really wronging TWO people if you stay with her even though you no longer love her like that.

Yes, it would suck, and yes it would hurt her.... but she'll get over it, she'll heal, and she'll be able to go out and maybe find the guy with whom she is really meant to spend her life. Now, unfortunately you may lose her as a friend as well. It can be hard to go from boyfriend/girlfriend to just friends. It CAN work, but it often does not. But, that is really a risk you should just take, because it is what is right for you both. Hopefully you two could at least still be friends, but it is at least better than continuing a lie just because you think it will spare her feelings. That will never work. Eventually, it would be too much for you and it would only end anyway. Then it would only hurt her MORE because the relationship went on even longer.

Good luck to you. Definitely not an easy decision you have in front of you. I wish you the best in figuring out what you think is for the best.