I am 30 years old and I have been seeing a 44 year old woman for over a year now. She has 5 kids and we oldest is just4 years younger than me. She also has a baby making the 44 year old woman I'm seeing a grandmother. We get on like a house on fire. She has always been 100% honest with me. She came clean to me that she was with someone. Ended the relationship and has started just seeing him again, but no relationship. I love her and she tells me she loves me and she doesn't say anything she doesn't mean. I trust her with my life and believe her every word. I once told her I'd love for us to be together, to be able to call her my girlfriend and she was quite honest with me and said she can't see it happening. It hurt me at the time but I just got on with it and was happy to keep hold of the special thing we have. I was a bit confused that she loves me but can't see us in a relationship. I have kept quiet about it since. There have been a few occasions I have text her when I know she's going to see this other guy, and Iv told her it kills me. It breaks my heart, but she won't stop. She says that we aren't only seeing eachother and we are free to do what we want and see who we want. I am just so in love with her. Never felt this way about anyone. Iv told her over and over how much she means to me and what she's done for me. Since we started seeing eachother she's always been the same. She doesn't text long messages very much, we've never spoke on the phone because I think she wants to keep who she's seeing to herself and for her kids not to know. We meet maybe once or twice a week and go out. Everything feels good. We both love eachothers company and get on so well. I brought up the guy she was seeing again at the weekend and how much it hurts me. Told her I love her and want to be with her and she asked me if we want to stop seeing eachother. I asked why and she said because I want what she can't give me. She went to work, I sent her a load of messages, she must of read them but in the evening we didn't talk about it any more and although today she says we are fine, she's been quite quiet with me. I should probably distance from her but I really don't want to. I'm so in love with her and I think if I'm patient, maybe one day she will change her mind and want a relationship with me. I don't know what to do.