Why did he dump me so cruelly?

[richiro]

There were no signs up until 2 days before when he just stopped texting.
I knew because he would communicate all the time but he just went silent.
I just don't understand why he couldn't just end it without disappearing like I was a nothing.
I didn't have a clue what I did wrong.
Then tell me he had a lot on and make up an excuse when reality was he had a new GF.
I didn't see it coming.

There are always signs. Either in the language he uses, how engaged or distracted he is when he's conversing with you, body language, etc. Look deeper for those clues. I can guarantee you when you find somebody that's truly into you - it's going to look and feel a whole lot different than this guy. So keep looking for clues and signs.

every situation had clues and signs of what was about to happen.. EVERY situation.

If you ca't find it it's okay. no big deal. but they are always out there so its in your best interest to learn and find them as much as possible so it doesn't happen to you again. The less you learn and figure it out, the more it'll keep happening. and we don't want that (I DON'T want that) to happen to you.

CLUE: the "i'm busy" with no explanation and making excuses - that's 2 of the clues!

[Louise27x]

A few days previous signs were appearing ..
Not many texts
Not calling me like usual
Did not come over when he was meant too ...
But before those days there were none..he even said I miss you ..

[richiro]

Louise.. don't get down on yourself. we ALL do this.. many times!
this is why i said reflect back and learn and see all the signs (in fact not just on his sides, but on our own sides.. where did we fail ourselves and lie to ourselves, blind ourselves?)
again.. this is not to be harsh.. but in the spirit of - the quicker we learn and figure this out, the less we have to go thru it again and again...

you seem like a very sweet person and sincere and honest.. i don't like seeing this happen to good people like you.. most especially 2X or more! Please take care, relax, let it go.. then reflect back on it to learn the signs.. learn where we could have done better or have picked up on this sooner... we only help ourselves minimize time spent with the "losers" to free up much more time for the "winners" that come along - and you DESERVE a winner for sure..

*hugs*

[melancholia]

I think I did fall for who I thought he was.
I'm clearly easily fooled.
I would of never have cheated on him,

Did everyone miss this little tidbit? OP, did he find out you cheated on him before he ghosted on you?

[pcmaster]

He finished in het without condom, that what made her crazy and give him son.

Its best to just love yourself now and do all the right things, have friends around. Sure its harder to move on after things ends so suddenly. Talking things out and having a closure would help. I hate when people dont end things beautifuly and nicely. It makes a world of diference in moving on.

[Louise27x]

No I meant I would never have cheated on him or hurt him in anyway.
Obviously he was cheating on me if not emotionally but physically with this girl

[TheEvilJester]

Agreeing with richiro again. I think the only thing I don't agree with is I don't think there are necessarily ALWAYS signs in advance. I do think there are almost 100% of the time, but I think sometimes you truly can be blindsided by somebody you thought was a good person who turns out to be a piece of crap.

Though, yes, I agree more often than not there WERE signs, but people just didn't see them. That probably was the case here.... but don't misunderstand us, Louise. I am not and I am pretty sure richiro is not meaning to blame you for missing the signs. Believe me, I am sure almost all of us who have lived long enough have made the same mistake. Even if not in a romantic relationship, we've made the mistake of trusting the wrong person only to realize it was a mistake later..... after they've already hurt us.

We've all been there. Some scumbags are just really good at hiding the fact that they are scumbags. So, don't beat yourself up. You also need to know that it isn't that you weren't enough for him. It's that he's a prick and nothing/nobody would be good enough for him. Again, the failure here wasn't you, the failure was him. You are awesome for putting your heart out there and trying to find love. Don't let a jerk like that ruin it for you.

Good luck. You WILL find your true match some day. That jerk.... he'll keep using people until karma finally kicks him square in the gonads. So, he'll be punished for his bad deeds all in due time.

[melancholia]

The biggest gift you can give yourself is to let go of this guy. Let go of all of the feelings you have about it, because it's holding you back from being able to move on. It is a detriment to yourself if you keep fixating on this one particular guy. He hasn't done you any favors and you are focusing far too much attention on looking at the past, when you should be looking toward the future. Do yourself a favor and move on.