I am 20 . First year in college. She is 20 , first year in college aswell. We rent nearby apartments and we instantly starting hanging out with each other. At first it was really romantic , we had great talks , we even held hangs and everythign was perfect , so i was really confident about confessing my feelings. So i did , but for bad luck she started saying things like she is not ready , she is hurt from previous relationships etc. So i was patient and 1 week later when it happened to discuss that again she told me that she has a boyfriend that she loves , back in her hometown, and that she is sorry that didn't tell me earlier. She made clear that she didn't reject me which kept me confident. After that we decided to stay friends and we started hanging out a lot, discussing various things. I have told her lot of things about me (like i never had a girlfriend before ) and she has told me that her boyfriend is her first. In one of those conservations she told me that i wasn't her type which made me sad cause it made no sense with what she had said in the past. Anyway after around 5 months we are like best friends. We hang out a lot , we sleep to each others house , watching movies etc. The problem is that i love our friendship but i also have feelings for her and i can't look at another woman. Most of the times it feels liek we are in relationship with no sex , we argue like couple , hanging like a couple and discussing various things. Also sometimes it seems like she doesn't respect that much and pressures me to do things that i dont like for no reason. In addition when people think we are couple she is mad afterwards and she is saying things like < if my boyfriend heared that he would have beat you up > which makes me sad. I know that she loves me ( as friend at least ) and she knows that i love her aswell. Its really depressing as the time goes on and i am getting pressured a lot but i also dont wanna lose my only real friend and the girl that i love. What shall i do?