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Thread: On Friday, over by Monday.

  1. #1
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    On Friday, over by Monday.

    We were dating for 2 months. Everything seemed to be going amazing. We were still in the honeymoon phase! He spent a whole month chasing me until I said yes and then took things slow with me. He didn't even try to have sex with me until after the first month. He seemed really respectful and SO into me! He was so sweet and it was just lovey dovey all the time between us...even in front of our friends it was totally fine. He went the extra mile to make me happy and to win me over. It took me a little longer to get the hang of things but as of 2 weeks ago I started reciprocating and being just as amazing to him. (at least he told me I was...every day!) Anyways....Friday everything was normal (text me in the morning, while I was at work and at night...calling my beautiful and talking about he can't wait to see me and so on...) we had a great night and the next morning we went for breakfast, had a nice day of errands and chilled together all day. Come saturday night (when I went to work) and sunday....he hardly wanted anything to do with me. I finally asked him monday what was up with him and he says: "I feel like you are an amazing person but I don't think we communicate the way I'd hoped and I don't feel like I have been able to be myself. I don't think we can continue this relationship any further"

    How do you go from being all wrapped around someone one day to dropping them the next? I swear it was like a light switch and so much out of the blue that I am still in disbelief. Everyone who knows us is just as shocked. Now he wont give me an explanation for it other than we "just didn't communicate" the way he wanted and that he felt like he couldn't be himself. What exactly could I have missed?? I never forced him to be any way....I didn't criticize him and he never showed any signs of something being wrong...we never even came close to an argument. I felt things were going amazing and HE is the one who chose to be the way he was....what did I miss and why wont he explain himself?

    Why try so hard for someone, hang out with this person almost EVERY day and be super extra...then just all of a sudden be "over it" ? Is it wrong of me to want an answer out of him??

    I already texted him yesterday to ask for an explanation and he didn't respond. Is it too clingy to call? I feel like I at least deserve some answers.

  2. #2
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    you deserve some answers
    maybe you suck in bed (or maybe you do and its not good enough (if that pun is allowed :-) ))
    maybe someone else stepped in
    maybe he just had a bet going on
    or he just wanted to get you in bed
    or he is just plain stupid
    or you have missed some explanation

    i think you deserve an example at least.
    There is something that you missed big time probably.
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
    If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.

  3. #3
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    None of us can tell you what's going on in his head, and if he won't give you the time of day to let you know, then something is up. Either he is interested in someone else, or for some reason he was acting in a way he thought you wanted, but wasn't true to who he really is, and didn't know how to communicate that with you, or he's just a straight up asshole who doesn't care how his actions affect other people. We could sit here and guess all day, but only he can tell you. Maybe try reaching out to him again to see if he can give you more clarity on the situation. If not, then just chalk it up to a lost cause and move on. Be thankful you didn't waste more time than you did and focus on moving forward.
    "Caring is not an advantage."

  4. #4
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    There could be a million reasons. That could range all the way from he sincerely was trying to make it work and just felt you weren't reciprocating..... to he's just a complete scumbag and was only using you right from the start but gave up when he didn't get what he wanted. Professor Xavier could maybe tell you the exact why, but we cannot. (I'm a nerd, what can I say? LOL!)

    We don't know any more than you do, only he really knows. You can try talking to him about it, and that would be my advice, but if he's refusing to elaborate, then unfortunately you'll know as much as we know. To be honest, though I understand how you feel, the truth is the WHY doesn't really change what I think you should do. You deserve to know the why. If he was a good person he'd be willing to talk to you about that, even if he is just done and has no intention of changing his mind, he'd at least talk about it.

    If he refuses to even elaborate, then that personally makes me suspect that is because he isn't the good guy he pretends to be after all. But, again, it doesn't really change what I think should be your course of action..... which is I think you should just move on regardless. You shouldn't have to convince somebody that they are worth your time. If he's not willing to see the value in you, then he doesn't deserve to have you. You shouldn't have to talk him into it like you are trying to sell him a car.

    You deserve to know what happened so you can honestly learn from it. If there were things you could have done better, you can learn from that in another relationship. If there was nothing either of you did wrong but just ways you two just didn't match, you can learn from that and hopefully better identify and avoid those differences in the future. If his reasons are completely BS and psycho, then you know the problem is HIM and you can consider it as though he did you a favor anyway.

    Sounds, though, like he's not going to extend you that courtesy. So, if he will not, all you can really do is move on and forget him. Try to take to heart the fact that if he'd do this he probably wasn't such a good guy anyway. You deserve somebody who will appreciate you. If that can't be him, then you deserve better. Good luck.

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