Why is he being so awkward?

[MZing]

A month ago I was on holiday abroad and my uncle asked his relative to show me around the place. It was the best holiday ever.

My uncle mentioned Tom asked him if I was single or have a boyfriend, he's single as well. He said to my uncle that he likes me, would like to date me, but same time to take things slowly. Everyone, all the relatives were able to see an connection between Tom and I. I even met his parents briefly. Morning before my flight his mum woke up early to bake cakes and biscuits for me!

The thing is he never said anything to me, that he likes me, just to my uncle and my dad. He's perfect, both same age - early 20's. He can be a bit shy but he's so kind, caring and cheerful. Being around him made me so happy.

Since I've been back home we have been in touch through Whatsapp messaging. My uncle encouraged me to contact Tom first as due to his shyness he's not confident enough to contact me first. So, that's what I did, to one point where we were in contact everyday. However, it's been over a week and I haven't heard from him. I don't want to be the first one to make the first move again in case he finds me annoying! It's so hard due to his shyness if he's being awkward because he's shy or not like me anymore! What should I do?

Why hasn't he been in touch? Does he like me?

[edd]

after a week or maybe 2 just text him simple mesage, like how are you doing, that would be my best plan.

- - - Updated - - -

maybe he moved on (not likely if he is shy like i am) or maybe he dont want contact anymore for some reason, BUT maybe hes waiting for you

[Hooo!]

He is shy because he wonders the same thing actually.
"oh she wont like me. Should i contact her? Maybe im annoying her"

id openly tell him you fancy him but at the same time you think he is being shy as to the point where you are unsure if he is even interested in you.
so please if he is then could he give it a little more effort to stay in contact with you of his own initiative?

then you know where you are.
But that would be only me.

[melancholia]

You said his uncle described him as shy, which would explain his awkwardness. He probably lacks confidence to make another move. If you don't want to be the only one making all the moves, then consider finding someone better matched to what you want from a guy.

[MartinOhm]

Mzing, what is your personal belief on shyness? Because many view shyness as a huge "no no taboo" being some stigma on it that shy people are "evil" or have some mental issues. Is shyness a trait you look for in a man?

[Hooo!]

Mzing, what is your personal belief on shyness? Because many view shyness as a huge "no no taboo" being some stigma on it that shy people are "evil" or have some mental issues. Is shyness a trait you look for in a man?

a few girls think its cute
i think thats more of a fetish for them tho.

[MartinOhm]

a few girls think its cute
i think thats more of a fetish for them tho.

Getting off-topic but how is it that you view it as a fetish for women? Not doubting it is not but would like to hear your p.o.v.

[Hooo!]

because it runs contrary to the urge of having a dominating male. Someone who is strong and takes the lead.
Women also usually have the urge to gain power over that man ("taming the beast").

since some women like shy persons who are either already tamed or who can be unleashed (im not sure as to why). This is some kind of perverted (not in a negative way) way to go about the natural tendency described above

thus: its a fetish

just like some men like dominating/zundere women.
or really fat or really short women or whatever. Its a fetish.
And again - i dont mean that as negative. The words "Fetish" "Domintation" or "perversion" should not be read with any negative conotation here.

[TheEvilJester]

Let me try to help put things in perspective a bit.... I am extremely shy. I hate it, and I do try to do my best to work around it. To some degree I can work through it, but to some degree I can't help it. I am shy in general, but I am a million times more shy around women, especially as it relates to dating.

.....BUT even I, if and when the situation arises, make at least some effort to show some kind of interest. Even if it is just as little as being the first to text, or being the first to suggest an actual date, or whatever the case may be. I say this to illustrate that I do understand it if he is super shy. Believe me, I do.... BUT there is a limit to what is reasonable. If you two have been talking a while, but you ALWAYS have to be the one to start the conversation, then you should maybe ponder if you are okay with always having to be the one to make the first move.

Being shy is one thing, but at some point he has to get comfortable with you and be willing to sometimes lead. I mean, if you're fine with him never doing that, then that is great. I am sure some women would love the idea of a man who always lets them be in charge, but I think most would feel the way you seem to be feeling, which is that you want more of an equal partner. Somebody who CAN sometimes make the first move.

So, believe me, I feel for the guy.... but at some point he needs to get over that to some degree, even just for his own good. He can't just expect somebody will drag him every step of the way, and nor should you HAVE to do that anyway.

As far as whether or not he likes you.... I don't think we can necessarily answer that. I see two very possible options here. A) He really does like you, but he's so shy he hasn't been able to do anything about it B) He just not all that into you, so he can't be bothered to put in the effort.

We can't really know, and if he's not going to volunteer the information, you'd only be left to speculate as well. Bottom line, either way, if it doesn't work for you it doesn't work for you. I do agree that, if you'd like, you can certainly try a list ditch effort of talking to him about it. Similar to how Hooo suggested. Let him know that you have been enjoying his company but find him hard to read. You can't tell if he likes you and is just shy or if he doesn't like you and you should just move on.

IF he does like you, hopefully that will be enough of a wake up call that he needs to act. If it doesn't help, then either he doesn't like you or he's just too shy to ever get over it without you basically having to drag him every step of the way. Either way, if it is one of those two, the end result is the same. You deserve to be with somebody who is your equal partner (assuming that is what you want) not somebody where it is basically almost like a boss/employee relationship with how much you have to tell them what to do.

Good luck!

[pcmaster]

LDR is not worth it. Find someone local.

[Hooo!]

LDR is not worth it. Find someone local.

you are wrong.

[TheEvilJester]

Long distance relationships CAN work, but more often than not they do not. If they are going to work, it takes a lot of effort from both sides..... something this fella seems to be either incapable or unwilling to do. So, I would tend to agree that, in this case, this is probably too many checks in the Con column and not enough in the Pro column. Probably better not to bother.... but again, that decision isn't up to me.

[Hooo!]

Long distance relationships CAN work, but more often than not they do not. If they are going to work, it takes a lot of effort from both sides..... something this fella seems to be either incapable or unwilling to do. So, I would tend to agree that, in this case, this is probably too many checks in the Con column and not enough in the Pro column. Probably better not to bother.... but again, that decision isn't up to me.

this is true for ALL relationships
not just LDR

in that regard i really dont think ldr differs much from a normal relationship
there are a few different sticky points if you compare it to a relationship where people live apart but in the same are - and yet again some differences to a relationship where people live together. I dont actually think it is much harder - i just think it is less fullfilling and requires different areas of attention (such as outlook, commitment, skype, paying attention via phone, willingness to visit, removing problems (possibly in person) right away and with all focus)

[TheEvilJester]

Yeah, I guess that's a good point. I suppose that is true of relationships in general. I think the point just being that, in order for a long distance relationship to work, you need to take special effort to make it work. When two people are geographically close, it can be easier to make time for each other. When you are far apart, it can take an extra effort to ensure you actually do take time for each other anyway, even despite the distance. Some people wind up finding that routine too hard to maintain, especially given that they then don't have the benefit of physical closeness (or at least not as often).