Difficulties

[LoveMe5]

Hi everyone I am currently having a very difficult time. I love my boyfriend but I feel like when he gets angry, it's never his fault and he can hold a grudge for up to two days. During this time our relationship status is in limbo because he doesn't truly know how to deal with his feelings. It hurts me a lot because I like to solve things as soon as possible. During this time my heart hurts and I cry and wonder why I am not strong enough to finally leave. I want it to work out so badly. He is not a communicator so that makes things difficult. Has anyone else settled for certain behaviors because starting over and dealing with heartache just sucks? I am not perfect, but a lot of the time it truly isn't anything I've done. Of course this all comes down to alcohol. We don't go out every night, but when we do go out, we really go out. I know quitting alcohol will fix a lot of things. I just don't know what else I can do. Thank you for listening and not judging. It feels nice to get this written out. I swear I tell myself once I get of the next heartbreak, if there is one, I will remain single forever. It's the worst feeling and I am so over it.

[Sunstark]

Why do you want it to work out so badly? Only because of the heartache? Or because he is worth the struggle? Regards

[Hooo!]

There is always a price to pay. Heartache sucks. Being in an abusive relationship with someone who cant communcates sucks more.

The heartache would be over sooner then if you carry on the relationship.
You can work for changing the relationship, but that requires him to work also.

basically you are asking us what you should do.
However we cant tell you.
You are the one who has got to decide what you want.
You want this relationship for the rest of your life and how shitty it can be? Then keep it. No judgement intended. If you are happy enough with it to the extend that you dont want any heartache anymore then keep it. If you cant deal with it for the rest of your life and rather start over again then do that.

Work on yourself in the meantime. Whatever you decide will be the best decision for you. and you can always chose again if you want.