I LOVE my best Friend

[will.m.f.davis]

So I am an overweight, gay white guy at the age of 15. For 2 years, I will have been friends with one of my closest friends so far in my life, my best friend. He is so perfect, and charming, funny, cute, adorable, relatable, and so much more. That's kind of why I liked him. It's been since that first week I saw him and met him that I've liked him, but then a few months after becoming great friends with him, I realize my feelings and keep them to myself. Until, I suck it up and release all my feelings in a text, explaining how I've liked him for a long time and that I love our friendship and I would prefer a friendship that last than a relationship that would be an uneasy bridge, never knowing when it's going to break. So yea, I love him. And it's been since July since I've told him and I feel everyday the struggle. Like I don't think he likes me or he would have made a move ya know, but I still like him. We always hang out, like literally everyday. I always think of him, I've even had bad dreams about him dying with me waking up bursting into tears. He's become a huge part of my life. He's a senior this year, so he has like 3 or 2 months left and then he might never talk to me again. I don't know what to do, I just wanted to spill my feelings so I don't forget what I feel right now. Sadness, but also happiness because of how much I love this guy. He's everything to me. Everything.

[pcmaster]

Well he is not gay probably so leave it like that. Keeping contact with him in a friendly way will make it only longer to move on from love.
Ofcourse he wont make a move if hes straight. At your age love goes away fast once person is away from your life.
Its harder to be gay when you are young and not out of the closet. But once you are 18, dating sites becomes available to you and you will find like minded people easy. By that time you wont feel anything when remembering your friend. That is if you stop having contact.

[Hooo!]

i didnt get if he is gay or not

but what i do get is that you miss 100% of the shots you dont take.
You said you really wanted a friendship rather than a relationship? I think thats bullshit and you are only kidding yourself.
It is not wrong to fight for your love. Gay or not.

However if your love was to stay unanswered - no matter how hard you fight for it that doesnt make him a bad guy. It just makes him the wrong partner for you.

[will.m.f.davis]

Yes he is gay, sorry I forgot to mention that part. But the reason I told him that I liked him and wanted to stay friends is because I liked our friendship and I didn't want it to get weird because I don't think he will ever like me that way. We are really close friends, but I would like more. I just really like him and age has nothing to do with knowing or not if you love someone. If you feel that emotion of happiness and attraction to someone, that can be seen as love. I find him perfect and he is a good person. Good looking, nice, polite, friendly, so many things.

[Hooo!]

dont ever ****ing lie about such things
neither to yourself nor to others.

If you want him in a relationship then pretending to be "just friends" is about one of the worst things ever.
No friend should just pretend to be a friend.

Let me tell you a story. When I was at university and in a long distance relationship with my now fiance I met this girl as a dancing partner.
We both clicked very well together and i also thought that she was a very beautiful girl.
I was for a long time torn between both girls.
However my dancing partner (knowing im in a relationship) told me she wanted to be just friends and then actually went out and got herself some other partners too.
I thought that the flirting we both did was enjoyable and left it at that.
I had decided to be with my now fiance.

Turns out that the dancing partner loved me for about 5 years. She never told me (nor did she probably tell her boyfriends)
Now she cannot bear contact because i decided to be with my now fiance.

Who knows what would have happened if she had told me differently - not pretending not lying. I do not know.

- Dont get me wrong: im perfectly happy with my fiance and I think its all for the best now.
However if things went the other way around - maybe i wouldve ended up happy too?
My friendship to said girl is destroyed and furthermore she has lied and pretended to me all those years. Just because she once said that she wasnt really into me.

This was about 2 years ago and I am still sad that she is gone from my life.

Lying and pretending are things that friends should, must and just do not do to each other.


You have come here, because you realise that you are indeed not happy with the way things are now. (That is why you made the effort to create a account in the first place).
That means you will have to do something different from the things you are doing now.
You just have to find out what it is.

For the future I give you this general limiting belief:
It is always best to not lie about your feelings and intentions.
At the same time this does not mean telling everyone about your intentions and feelings. It just means you do not hide or lie or misguide other people in regard to your emotions and intentions.
That said we must keep in mind that IF you are voicing those intentions/feelings out loud it requires empathy and consideration (it matters HOW you voice them).

This set of beliefs has spared me much pain.

[pcmaster]

Well if hes gay then you for sure should make a move and not just wait. Sure if hes older then its more risky for you that he will use you just for sex. But in general being just friends with someone you love is holding back happiness you might find else where.

I really started to live and have success with girls after I stooped contact with a friend who I liked and wanted more than a friend but she didnt wanted same with me. So yeah wasted 2 years just there focusing on wrong girl.

[will.m.f.davis]

I don't think it's really lying, or hiding my feelings. Because I really am friends with him it's just the feelings grew because of how close we were becoming friends. I'm not lying to him at all really, I'm just not revealing my top feelings. I am revealing my feelings, such as friendship, but there's more I need to reveal. I actually did tell him my feelings once, but I told him I'd rather be friends than try to risk our friendship. I think I am going to ask him out, though, soon, but I don't know how to do it? I hang out with him all the time so I can't just say "wanna hang out sometime". I'm very nervous but can u help me find a way to ask him or something to get me an answer whether or not he likes me the same way? Also how do you get to that point where someone will date u for ur personality and not your looks, because I think he might just want looks.

[Hooo!]

you told him you " would prefer a friendship that last than a relationship that would be an uneasy bridge"
you"d rather be friends than try to risk our friendship"
and that is not the truth
you would prefer a third option: a fullfilling relationship.
And you hide that

If you hide things like that you could as well be lying to your best friend.
Its like you told your mom you were in your room tonight. Which is true for about 5 minutes, then you went out to party.
Its not lying - its just not revealing the top priorities.

STOP doing that. You even believe it yourself to some extend.
You are not honest. That is the point. Be honest with yourself first. With others later.
But you cant fool me.

Well noone can save you if he sais no. Thats life. But then actually this no is also applying as you read this. Its just you pretending otherwise now because you dont know.
Imagine him saying yes and imagine a happy ending. I think that might make things easier.
As for the looks: go on a diet and to the threadmill. If you love this guy and you know its important for yourself then just lose weight and gain some muscle.
I know that isnt easy, but its something you can change.
Apart from that - I personally would not be in a relationship with someone who would just go for looks alone.