Lost in love

[lovesmitten86]

So the love story begins.....When I was 17 I met this amazing man online (yes online!) we were head over heels for each other. We constantly talked for about 3 months. He lived in Chicago and me in Nebraska. Then he decided to come and finally meet me. His nephew (who is his age) and he drove about 11 hours to come and meet me. I was so nervous and anxious. So I met him and it was amazing! He met my family; we were head over heels for each other. But, the day came he had to go back home. I was so sad but I knew we would figure this out, I was very hopeful.
3 more months passed I was finally 18 and I and my family moved another 2 hours farther from him. He decided he couldn't be away from me any longer and moved to Nebraska, I got him and apartment and a lease. He was here!! I was so happy! But the first 2 weeks he moved to Nebraska I was driving back and forth to my old job (2 hours each way). Unfortunately, I was undocumented and did not have a car or license(of course) so he would just wait till I got home and visit him a couple hours and go back to my parents (Hispanic family can’t sleep over). After two weeks, I decided to quit my job, besides the fact I never saw him the 2 hr drive was wearing on me. We spent so much time together, we had a little bickering about food and such...but we were happy. He did miss his family a lot. Unfortunately, he decided to go back home. I was considering going to Chicago with him and just getting married. After a long conversation with my older sister. As much as I wanted to be with him I was still so young and naive. I couldn't see myself having kids with him and not having my family near. We were devastated but were going to try to figure something out. It was ok for a couple of weeks, but after a couple of weeks I started being more and more upset that he left me! How could he not try harder! I started drinking not answering his calls, destroying him slowly so I could forget about him and him of me. And so we drifted apart eventually stopped talking.
Years later when I was 20 and with the father of my daughter (prior to having her). We started talking (non relationship way) he was with his current legal wife. Basically she found out, and we decided it was too much drama to be friend. So we let go. For the next few years I kept getting messages from his wife asking me several times a few times a year if he had contacted me....every time I would say no....eventually me and her were cool. She knew about the situation with my daughter dad not wanting to be in the picture and such. But it was quite annoying her constant questions about if he's talking to me. (He wasn’t). So I just geared away from her and the situation.
I and she did not talk for about 4 years at all and all of a sudden....here we go again...." Hi, how are you? You know me the usual...Has my husband contacted you?" I was like "what the heck why would he contact me?? and no he hasn’t!" she started talking to me how now they have 3 kids and how they are constantly fighting and how she wants a divorce because she kicked him out of the house ...blah blah. How he said he would contact his exes....I genuinely felt bad I told her for her 3 kids to work it out, not to give up...she said she was done tired of the fights. We started talking a little about the kids and stuff. Then I decided to stupidly message and just say " look I know you too have issues and it has been quite annoying that she constantly ask me if you have contacted me" "but you two need to work this issue out for your kids’ sake" . So he went on telling me he was tired of the fights (like she had told me) and that he was done with the relationship. It was all clean and dandy. I kind of understood him...I could see his side.....I asked him why she would always message me and ask he if I had spoken to him. He said that because she knew that in the back of his mind he still had feelings for me. I was mind blown, because I had never forgotten about him secretly either. Eventually our conversations got more about us remembering event from when we were dating. Eventually, It became I miss you conversation. I realized we both still loved each other and missed each other. I knew she somehow get access to his Facebook. Then all of a sudden she’s there on his Facebook posing as him until she fessed up it was her. I genuinely felt bad, but she told him how he doesn’t see the kids how he is not a good father. How she gave him a lot of opportunities. Then he told us she was glad we still loved still loved each other. How she would leave us alone and take her kids with her away from him. I felt so torn! I felt her pain because I was in her shoes once! But dang I love this man!! He told me to block her because she will make our life a living hell and I do trust him. I can feel he genuinely loves me. We have continued communicating daily, and no he doesn’t live with her they are not together. But of course now I live in California, He said would do whatever is possible to be here with me. But I tell him not to rush and I still want him to see his kids, it is very important to me.

Yesterday he went to see his kids. That night she messaged me and told me how I could do this to her out of all people I knew how it felt to have a man walk away from his family. (He still wants to be part of his kids’ lives) How when he went to see the kids the daughter tried to put their hands together. How she felt that they weren’t a family anymore. She asked me why I contacted him….Gosh I felt bad for her, He had told her, he loves me and how he wants to just make it about the kids when he sees them. But I feel bad because she is hurt. But we want to be together. I don’t want to talk to her because I am afraid she will feed me some bs. I trust him…..I just feel bad for her still. It was not my intention to hurt her. I do not want him to stop seeing his kids I made that clear, even if he still has to see her until things are better…I love him and he loves me….But I still feel horrible! Any thoughts?

[Hooo!]

Any thoughts?

blubber, oddment, tweak
thank you


on a more serious note: what do you want to tell us?
i mean: do you have a question or a specific issue?
Or do you just want to vent and have someone sympathize with you?
I am sorry to say that i really dont get what you want out of this post.