My husband cheated on me with his ex two years ago and I forgave him it was very hard but I tried to move on. Four out of the 5 years we've been together I've caught him on and off talking to women. It's been a year since anything and now I feel I completely undervalued myself and intimacy from my side is gone most of the time I have to try to want it. He never pushes me to do anything but complains I never try. He has been so kind this past year and attentive but now I feel I've lost what was there before. I'm trying but all I see is me picturing myself without him I love him always but I don't think as a couple anymore. I've even contemplated cheating. I feel so guilty because the way he looks at me and treats me now but I just keep telling myself he shouldn't have messed up and it's okay to not be okay now that he's got it together and it's okay to leave even if it hurts him, because it's hurting me.