Dillema - please help

[jzohaib]

(English is not my first language, therefore please ignore the grammatical mistakes)

Hello,

I have been engaged for about 3 years now. We were suppose to get married later this year. My fiance loves me a lot. She forces me to spend time with her. I don't know how else to say it but she is the clingy type and I am more of a reserved guy. But I love her none the less, may be not as intensely as she does.

But here is what happened that really broke my heart. A week ago I found her receiving sex messages from her ex-class mate. It was going on for about a month. I was devastated to find out this. I immediately told her that it's over and we wont be getting married.

But she begged me not to do that. She said that it was a mistake and it will never ever happen again. I know that she will never do that again. I am also sure that this was only through texting and they never did anything physical. But I am completely devastated and can't believe it, that she could do something like that. So I was firm that marriage is not gonna happen and it's over.

Here is when things got complicated. After 1 day of my refusal, she started getting seizure attacks. When I took her to the hospital they said that she has 'Conversion disorder' - means these seizure attacks are due to a trauma ( breakup). So during her treatment I told her that I forgive her and we are not breaking up. Only after that she started getting back. She is improving now.

I don't know what should i do? To be honest after that incident I don't trust and like her anymore. But since I care for I keep telling her that I am not leaving her so that she can recover from her condition.

Please help.

Thank you so much!

[DAcrazy79]

This situation sounds very familiar to my last relationship. He was very manipulative tho. I broke up with him once and avoided all contact until one day he contacted my son and told him he was in the hospital, that he had gone into cardiac arrest and was on life support and thought he was gonna die. Needless to say even tho I did not want him and was not in love with him, I took him back because I felt sorry for him. It was the worst mistake I've ever made. I ended up trapped and he turned out to be abusive and I later found out that the whole story was a lie to get me back. I hope that's not the case here, but honesty if you stay with someone just because you feel sorry for them, you will just end up feeling trapped like I did. If you truly are not in love with her and you can't trust her. I would move on anyways. I'm sure she has friends and family who could help her cope.

[Snow White]

This is very simple although you may not think so. You cannot marry someone you do not trust or like! Period! It would not be fair to you or to her. She will recover and live without you.