So just need to vent a little bit...
Been dating this guy for 6 weeks, we were both head over heels in love and totally all over each other in the beginning, but it became a bit messy by the end and arguments started and jealousy and trust issues (we were both in long term relationships when we first met and kind of cheated on our partners and that caused distrust I think in our own relationship which was the main cause of all the jealousy and all problems..).
So he couldn't take it anymore and broke up with me. He had some other reasons too (wanted to focus on studying, needed time to reflect on his past relationship and figure out what happened and how and also had some personal psychological issues..).
But we both still wanted to interact with each other so we stayed friends.
We kept seeing each other every day in class. And even on weekends we always find things to do together: we go to a library to study or to some events or shows and to a pub quiz night every week or just go for some beers or go out to eat together sometimes... And we keep constantly texting each other (most of the time his initiative) when we aren't together. He even comes over and we make food together (or he makes food) and we watch tv shows together... And this been going on for 3 months now..
And we get along i'd say superbly.
But we also started sleeping together recently. Which caused a lot of disruptions. After a few times I told him I don't wanna be just a toy for him and we shouldn't sleep together if we're just friends.
Because it causes a lot of mixed feelings for me and makes me feel really bad about myself and kind of rejected afterwards.
He then told me it's not just random sex for him, that he still has a lot of feelings for me too.
He said he thought about stopping spending time with me and contacting me at all, because his feelings aren't gone anywhere and it makes this whole "friends" thing very difficult for him too. But even though it's difficult in the end he still wants to spend time with me because he thinks I am a great girl and smart and original and he enjoys being with me a lot...And he even said he feels like we are soulmates. And I feel like that as well.
But he says he doesn't want a relationship right now, that he has deep personal issues which he wants to take care of first and that's the only reason why he doesn't try to start a relationship again. But then we slept together again... We obviously can't stay away form each other..
And when we are together it's great! The best moments of my day are when I am with him, doesn't even matter what we do. And having sex with him is amazing. Even though I know I shouldn't and I know I will feel bad later, but I just can't help myself, it just feels so right...
But then when we aren't together and he is not texting me I really really miss him...
And I start feeling really bad and think all these crazy paranoid things that maybe he met someone else... or that he will all of a sudden decide to stop talking to me cause it's too much for him.
Or that maybe it is just sex for him...cuz we slept together yesterday, after that we went to a pub, had a great time and kept texting each other while we fell asleep. And few days before that we couldn't stop talking and texting till the middle of the night each day and we were hanging out as much as possible and he really showed initiative... but then today we barely talked. I texted him this morning to see how's it going at a new job and then we talked a little and that's it. Well of course he had to work all day on this project, but still it just feels weird.. I am driving myself insane already... And I really really want to text him, but I think I shouldn't.
So yeah..just really needed to sort my thoughts out..If anyone have any thoughts or insights on this, please share..
Also if anyone could tell me how to make myself resist him, that would be great too.