Found condoms in BF's room, but i kind of knew about them?

[lm0905]

Not sure who to ask/turn to… But just as a preface, my boyfriend and I don’t use condoms. I’m on birth control… so my boyfriend has a friend named 'Michael'. My boyfriend told me last weekend that 'Michael' asked if he could bring a girl over and use bf’s spare room (obviously sex)
So my boyfriend told me the next day about this and he was like ‘is it weird that i bought condoms for him because 'Michael' asked me to? cause someone says it’s weird” and then we went into his room and i asked what kind of condoms he bought 'Michael', and he showed me just the cheap, blue Trojan condoms.. i assumed only 1 package because why would 'Michael' need 2?

I went to BF's house today and he wasn’t home yet, so he told me to just go in and hang out. I left one of my phone chargers there a couple of days ago, so i looked through his drawer next to his bed to see if it was in there and found 3 condoms, and one opened wrapper but no condom… the little packs come in packs of 3, so clearly they are from 2 different packs…

Now i don’t know whether to think that BF used the condom and left the wrapper in the drawer, or if he didn’t want Michael to throw the condom out in the guest bathroom trashcan (‘my’ bathroom, since it’s the one i usually use) and just gave it to BF, but that means 3 condoms were used… i know these are new condoms, cause we went through the drawer together like 1 week before and they werent there.
There is also not a drawer or dresser in the guest room, so maybe 'Michael' gave the rest to BF to hold on to, thinking we'd need them or something?

I really don’t want to start accusing BF of cheating, but i feel weird about it… like why would he tell me about buying condoms for 'Michael' if he was planning on cheating on me?
He has never given me a reason to ever believe that he’d cheat, but i feel super weird about it

Sorry if this all over the place, my mind is just not very calm right now lol.

BF and I are going on a trip this weekend with 'Michael' and some other girl and I want to low-key ask him about it, but I know he'll tell BF.BF and I are also going to Europe for a couple of weeks next month and literally just booked a trip yesterday for the fall.

Him and I both just talked yesterday about him and I are doing really well and we're both really happy, so I'm just very confused.

[lovebroken]

If it is bothering you you need to confront one or both of them about it, there is no reason for your BF to have another guys condoms in his bureau that is ridiculous. They have to be his because doesn't Michael have his own room to use( spare room)? and even if it didn't storing condoms and empty wrappers in another guys bureau is just odd to me. Are these guys really young? If you don't want to rock the boat and say anything before your big trip away then just keep an alerted eye on things and as soon as you are done with the trip and if it still is a concern promptly discuss it. But if you think he cheated, then don't sit on it at all would be my advice. Hard to come right out and say it because he set up the Michael condom scenario in advance.

[Snow White]

I asked my husband about this one and he said he thought it was weird that your bf let his place be used as a motel room and even weirder that he would go out and by condoms for him. Advice that I have always given and taken is go with your gut feeling. You know your bf and his friend better than we do. If you are feeling in your gut that something isn't adding up, then something is up. How you want to handle it is up to you.

[greenemerald]

I agree with Snow White. Trust your gut instinct. It is there to serve you.
Weird for "Michael" to have your bf hold the condoms. LOL.
Michael has a backpack, a closet, a wallet, under the mattress, etc.
Michael is highly capable of storing his own condoms.

I suspect that your bf told you about him buying condoms for Michael was a "preemptive strike" on his part.
Here's the definition of a preemptive strike:
"A first-strike attack with nuclear weapons carried out to destroy an enemy's capacity to respond. A preemptive strike is based on the assumption that the enemy is planning an imminent attack."

To use this on your case:
Your bf told you about buying condoms for Michael (preemptive strike) based on the assumption that you (the enemy) would plan on questioning him (imminent attack) should you find condoms in his room.
His solution? He told you about him buying condoms for Michael (first-strike attack).
This way, you can't question him about the condoms or suspect him of cheating (destroyed the enemy's capacity to respond).
See how brilliant this move is?
I have actually known men who have done preemptive strikes.
They already created escapes before they were caught.

It makes you question: if he's cheating, why would he even tell me about the condoms?
Because he used a preemptive strike, sweetie.
He can tell you to come over to his place without him. He told you to go in and hang out.
He is not worried about you finding the condoms. He will just say "I already told you a week ago I bought some for Michael".
He probably already told Michael that if you ask, say it's Michael's.

As a woman who had been cheated on, my advice to you is: trust your gut instinct.
My ex-bf and I were happy, too. We were already shopping for a ring.
After all, why would a man want to marry a woman if he wants to be with other women, right? WRONG!
Something was off. I could feel it. At that time, I had no reason to feel that way.
We were happy. Nothing seemed wrong.
But for some reason, something didn't feel right. I could not explain it. And I was right.
God gave you that instinct for a reason.
Use it.

[dollhouse]

I'd echo exactly what [MENTION=77017]lovebroken[/MENTION] told you..first post after your own post and add to it saying ...I had an ex do something similar with condoms too but his was claiming he was masturbating with them, mmmm... either way if you think this seems like a lie and suspect then mostly likely it fully is ..or something about the story is fishy... and both bros are going to back each other up and have their stories straight, imo. So use your own judgement on this.

[Shoukon]

All of the above are possible. Also possible your boyfriend just bought two packs because he didn't want to have to go back again since it was so weird or because Michael asked for two packs and Michael had sex more than once within that weekend or put one in his wallet and used one for that night. There are infinite devious and innocent scenarios for this and talking to him or them about it is the only way to start figuring it out.

In dorms a lot of guys will put all the condoms in one drawer so holding condoms may be "weird" but not uncommon. Guys do weird things for no good reasons multiple times a day.

Cheating is a serious accusation to make, especially when you've described that he's given no other reason for it, but also serious enough that advocating for yourself is a must. The best way to drive yourself crazy and continuously imagine your boyfriend is cheating on you and live through destructive situations in your mind is to not ask. If that continues to happen, a fair question to ask would be why continue to not ask?

[Hooo!]

I don't see what is keeping you from telling it to him exactly as you told it to us?
You don't wanna be controlling and all it's it's just nagging you, so you thought you'd speak with him about it.
In any good relationship you can talk with your partner about "uncomfortable" topics.
That's key