Is it love?

[Russia]

Everyday I think of her. I can't get her out of my head. It's impossible. Almost everything reminds me of her. Long story short I came from a broken household never knew my dad and because of that my family was never a Real family so I literally have no idea what love is to most any degree. All I know is that It's not some stupid crush or anything like that because I can't really explain it but I've never felt this before. If you want or need more details I'll try to help as best I can.

[pcmaster]

Might be infatuation too but you can call it anything you want it to call. Would be easier answer your question if you wrote what have you done and experienced with this girl.

[Russia]

Well if it was infatuation it wouldn't have necessarily started the way it did. Ok long story as short as possible. We met roughly 2years ago through some mutual friends we became pretty good friends I just liked her as a friend at the time and nothing more. We went to the movies etc... as a group of friends just teenage stuff for a little over a year. Then we for some no real reason out of the blue I asked her on a date(you know just to see if we were compatible even remotely). She loved the movies so we went whenever we got the chance we hung out talked moreso and more detailed than usual. She actually opened up to me which in my oppionion was a big deal considering. She was sorru is litterally the most soft spoken person let alone woman I've ever met. She always could tell when I was upset even over the phone or through text. She always listened as did I to her and her problems. She was the first person I could ever trust. I'm usually quite oblivious to most things social but I'd swear she genuinely cared about me no matter how much or how bad I had screwed up. I have never truly been happy before I had met her but whenever I'm with her I can just feel at ease and like there is a reason to keep living. Just to note but our relationship was kinda unconventional in some cases such as even though we were together for over a year we didn't exactly do what most couples would have now a days. I guess you could call us somewhat old school. We talked intimately all the time even though both of us are such introverts. If there is anything else I can think of or anything you can think of to ask ill try my best to answer if i can.

[pcmaster]

Well okay then its love.

But do you really miss her now after all this time or just miss her because you are horny?

[Russia]

Ok look I know for q fact it is not testosterone because I am 20pluss years old and actually still a virgin from waiting for a decent girl to come along and have had no problems with it even through highschool. And I miss her for the same reason Im asking if its love. That is because I don't know what i feel it has naturally led to problems in my relationship but more importantly I hurt her unintentionally wich is litterally the last thing i wanted. Weve been apart for lets see 82 days now but I just dint know how to help her. All i want is for her to be happy even if that means im not around. In order to even try to fix things I need to know a few things before I proceed. which we have also had a few conversationdms since then because we were such good friends at first.

[GLYC]

Coming from a broken household is always a struggle. It makes you have to overcome new challenges, and not having a father figure, can mean that you lose that masculine figure in your life. However, with challenges and struggles means a great opportunity for growth, and when you overcome that, you will become incredibly stronger.

Some of the cons of lacking a masculine figure, is that you move more into your feminine state. Why? Because you aren't exposed to that masculine figure.
Meaning, you get concerned about relationship titles, does she like me or doesnt she, you worry more, more so you're acting like a woman in regards to relationships.
You feel like you need things to work out and you're eager to be loved.

It's important to understand the sexual polarities of relationships.
Meaning, the masculine and feminine energies at work. How they differ and why they attract.
Women are GENERALLY more attracted to masculine energy. (Despite that we live in a feminine society that claims masculinity is bad, which is utter BS.)

I'm not saying this to bash you, I'm saying this to help you.
This can happen to men that have father figures in their lives, but lack bonding with them or their father figures are more feminine men.
My father and I had very different interests while I was growing up, and he was never interested in the things I was interested in.
I spent more time as a child around my mother. So I had to overcome some of this as well (and why I too was introverted).
I actually like my dad a lot, he's very traditional and we are definitely different, but Ive grown to share some mutual interests with him as well.
We have some great times together.

Also. I don't understand why people are so concerned about this, "is it love". It doesn't even matter, does it?
How a man alone feels means nothing. There needs to be mutual attraction.

You also need to reach a point where you are happy to be single. Then you can meet someone to share your completeness with.
I value great relationships, but if I were to be single for the rest of my life?
**** it. That's alright, I will still make the BEST of it.
And ironically by having that mentality, that places a person at a much better position to invite a new person into their life.

[dollhouse]

Only you can say if it is love or not... If you feel it could be then follow it up and make real plans with the girl in question...sitting around wondering won't get you very far, actions will.

Do you know her in real life or only online? If in real life ask her out then. See if she feels similar.

[Russia]

In regards to your last statement please read my first post after i started this thread.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh and all I was saying was that because I have no example or reference of what love truly is that Ive been forced to resort to something as this and. I do get what you are saying with the whole psychological point With the effects on the human pshyci. But I just simply needed and wanted a second oppinion because of my circumstances that are sadly more common than not.

[Hooo!]

What do you want?

[sandy090]

You just fell in love with her deeply. Go to chase after her.

[mikejonesmj]

Yess...it is love at first sight. when we feel like that it means we love talking to her and want to spend time with her. Love grows day by day as soon we know little more about each other

[TheEvilJester]

I, myself, am a bit of a weird conundrum. I'm super romantic, yet at the same time also very realistic. So, my PERSONAL thought is to say, no it probably isn't love.... YET. That said, it could BECOME love. Personally, I think you have to know somebody well enough and be in a romantic relationship for a while before you can really know if you love them. At least love them in the romantic sense. Now, you said your relationship with her wasn't "traditional." If you are comfortable doing so, please share some specifics as to what you mean.

I ask because I am a little unclear if you two were actually dating or were maybe just very close friends. I mean, did you kiss? Did you label yourselves as boyfriend/girlfriend? In my personal opinion "love at first sight" is not real. Again, that doesn't mean you can't see somebody and instantly FEEL like it is love at first sight, but I don't think you can actually love somebody until you know them well enough. Again, otherwise it is just a crush or infatuation.

I do not in any way mean to trivialize how in love you can feel, but love is something that needs time to grow. Sure, early in a relationship it may FEEL like love, but that is what people call the "honeymoon phase." It's always new and exciting then and it always feels like love. But, when it really becomes love is if/when that honeymoon phase fades away and you become used to/comfortable with each other.... but you still want to be with each other.... maybe even more so. Anybody can FEEL in love during the exciting newness of a relationship.

You weren't all that specific about what you did that hurt her. Again, if you feel comfortable sharing more specific details, that may help us. I will just say, whatever you did, there stands a pretty good chance that you can make it right if she truly cares for you. Communication is key. So, she may need some time and space at first, but when she will let you, talk about it. That isn't to say you should pester her constantly until she lets you talk. If she needs some time, give that to her. But, just make it clear that you want to give her the time she needs, but that you also need to talk about it soon so you two can decide what this means for you. If you two CAN work on fixing things, then you need to work together on that. If whatever happened was too much for her to look past, then she at least owes it to you to let you know so you can move on.

I hope that things work out for you two. If they don't though, please don't think that you lost your chance at true love. If she winds up not being the one for you, that just means somebody ELSE is. I know it will be hard at first, but in time you'll feel better and move on. If it doesn't work out with her, eventually it WILL with somebody. Hopefully you never even have to find that out, though. Good luck to you.

And again, any further details you are willing to share may help us to offer more specific advice.