Unlucky in Love

[TinaStar]

Hey guys!

I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice or if anyone feels the same?

I'm 27, I am told by everyone who knows how beautiful I am and what a lovely person I am. People constantly comment on how nice my figure is. It is nice to hear and I'm very appreciative - but I can't help but wonder, if all of that is true, why am I still alone?

My last boyfriend and I broke up 3 years ago, and it seems since then any guy I get talking to seems quite happy to keep me around in a "friends with benefits" situation but none of them want to commit. I'm not sure where I'm going wrong.

Since the breakup I left my job and got another one. I enjoyed it but was overworked and underpaid, so I have since gotten another new job. This job has really good career prospects and they pay is excellent. I am independent, buy everything for myself, don't expect handouts - though I do admit post breakup I moved back in with my parents and when I took the first job I wasn't earning enough to move out. I am now saving for my own place again so will be fully independent again soon. The entire period I've lived with my parents I have paid rent.

I also took a 6 week traveling holiday between jobs. I have done everything that people usually suggest for things like this. I have achieved every goal I have set for myself.

I'm just lonely. All of my friends are in relationships bar one and she doesn't live local. I am the only single person in my family. I'm finding it really tough lately. I am trying to focus on myself and my new career but I can't help but feel lonely on the weekends or in the evenings when I've no one to talk to. I have been trying to make peace with the fact that love isn't a given and maybe it won't come around again, but I wish with all my heart that it would. I want it more than anything. I'm getting tired of hearing that I'm the "full package" but then nothing comes of it.

I'm not the most social but in the last few months I have really tried to not be so awkward and get out there. I take a while to be really comfortable around people and it may come across as aloof. But I'm trying. I've even started Tinder, and while I have loads of matches none of them initiate conversation. I have a few times but they don't reply or else stop after the first message. I don't understand it.

Is there anyone in a similar situation? Any tips on how to meet new people? I live in a very small town so there's not much in the way of socialising except for bars.

[GLYC]

Just keep living your life, it will happen. I understand the situation, as I'm in a similar position at 25, it's tough. You want to meet other people but living in a small town and with your parents can be limiting.

Maybe try just being a little more adventurous. Being content being single, as in, doing hobbies that you enjoy doing alone. I'm starting to pickup kayaking, and I'll likely start adventuring around the state doing it at times. You could try visiting museums, or coffee shops. Book stores. Try speed dating.

[TheEvilJester]

God, I kind of wish you were in my area. I'm in a very similar situation. Well... except I'm kind of a monster (but the good kind like Elmo or Grover). LOL! I am most definitely NOT beautiful. Okay, so in all honesty I am probably not even nearly as bad as I like to joke I am. I'm no Dwayne the Rock Johnson or Bradley Cooper.... but I'm probably okay.

But, I similarly am confounded by love.... and yet have always wanted it. Hopeless romantic for sure. I wish I could tell you there was some easy answer.... but if there were I'd be with my dream girl right now. I think the others are right, though. As hard as it may be, the best thing you can do is keep living your life. Stay open to the possibility of love, but at the same time learn to be happy in and of yourself. Learn to be happy even without love in your life.... but then still remain open to it.

Believe me, I know how hard that can be. I will say this, hobbies can help. Try to take up hobbies you will enjoy and that will make you happy. Not with finding love in mind, but just stuff you enjoy anyway. You never know, you may wind up meeting somebody like-minded through one of those hobbies. If not, you at least have something fun to make your life feel more fulfilled. Good luck to you. If you ever do discover that magic answer, please let me know. LOL! Then maybe we can both find somebody special. I still fight with it... but I've personally kind of given up hope I ever will. I do NOT wish the same for you, so please keep your heart open.

[Hooo!]

Well there are 3 issues that I think about
1) if u don't get to know new men there won't be new men in your life
2) beautiful doesn't mean fit for relationship. We could have a look into how your last relationship ended or what may be turning off about you
3) many "boys" have this thing about believing that really hot girls are just "out of their reach"

Or maybe you've just had bad luck