Guys opinion please? or any? Help :)

[mollywritesxo]

Need advice on how to move proceed with a man I've been dating for three months. Me 31 F, he's 38 M. No exclusive talk or discussion of feelings yet. Sleeping together. I really like him a lot & we share a lot of the same morals, values on life.

We have been seeing each other weekly for three months consistently. He asks me out every week 1-2 times. It's always for a dinner, concert, movie etc. Never to just "netflix & chill". However, I always end up spending the night at his place after these outings. We recently went on a weekend trip together .

Like clockwork, he will text me every Tuesday (usually three days after seeing each other) around the same time asking what my schedule looks like for the week.

So this week same question from him yesterday. I told him my plans---obviously heavy work schedule & plans Thursday night as well as Saturday night. He has family dinner plans Wednesday, free Thursday (but I am not), Friday he said he is golfing with a buddy all day, Saturday going to a sporting event with his guy friends. I told him I could make Friday work. He then replied "yeah we could do that but my buddy who is driving down for golf is sleeping over" (hmmm). I said "well we could always meet up for a quick drink Fri". He said "that's true".

We then agreed to plan on meeting tomorrow (which is today) after dinner with his family. However, I am now thinking of possibly suggesting Sunday because I want to play my cards right by having him value my time & refrain from meeting up after his family dinner.

Trying to steer this in the right direction since I do see him long-term. Thoughts?

Thank youuuu !

[nerdy_guy]

I don't understand. He made time to see you, how is he not valuing your time? Nothing is broken, don't fix anything.

[TheEvilJester]

Agreed I am not necessarily seeing a problem here. It definitely sounds like he values you and your time. You've only been dating three months. Guys aren't always quick to want to label things, so he may be enjoying your company but just not want to have that talk yet. Honestly, if you want to there is nothing wrong with you trying to bring it up. Just, if you do try as best you can to do so with the understanding that he may not be ready to make things official/exclusive yet.

It is still early enough that you shouldn't be mad at him if he's not yet ready for that. All the same, that also doesn't mean it HAS to be okay with you. If this is long enough for you that you need exclusivity/the official labels (boyfriend/girlfriend) then that is what works for you. So, it wouldn't make you wrong if you are not okay with somebody who is not yet ready for that.... but again, it also doesn't make him wrong. Now, if it had been, say a year and he still was reluctant to have that talk.... yeah, then I'd say he's wrong to expect you to be okay with that.

And, honestly, all of that is just me speculating anyway. Who knows? He could consider you two exclusive and official boyfriend/girlfriend already but he just hasn't said it. You don't really know because you haven't asked and he hasn't volunteered the information.

So, if you are fine with things how they are, then don't even worry about it right now. Just enjoy it for now and hopefully he will bring up the conversation soon enough. If you feel like the time is right now for you to have that conversation, maybe start trying to bring it up yourself if he hasn't. But, just based on what you've shared, I don't see anything concerning. It sounds like he seems a good dude and he makes it a point to show you that you are a priority for him.

Good luck to you either way.

[nitecapt]

I'm thinking that you want to be sure that he wants to move the relationship forward and you need some advice on how to do that. While it is still early, do you get a sense that he is trying to move it forward? Does he suggest different and fun things to do? Does he TELL you how much he enjoys being with you? Do you TELL him how much you enjoy his company? On the other hand, if you tend to do the same thing all the time could you be a friend with benefits? All too early to tell. Just be careful and try not to get hurt.
Ray