broke up with me but keeps stairing at me when she sees me.

[evildeadguy316]

Brief backstory. We met in January and hit it off. Started seeing each other in February and a few weeks in she ended it saying she wasn't ready for a relationship and we would never have worked out. The next month was a lot of back and fourth with her until she said she couldn't imagine me with anyone else. We started seeing each other again and went right back to the way we were the first time around. two months later she hit a depression. I ended up becoming her emotional support. She would tell me how much I meant to her, how I took care of her better than anyone else. Kept trying to say she loved me but was scared. I helped her get on her own feet, get her licence, get out of the apartment with her ex, and would try and help her with her self esteem issues. Things started getting more serious, she asked for a key to my place and after me going to her for a problem in my life she pulled away. broke up with me saying she loved me, wasn't in love with me. That she took advantage of me. For half of our relationship she didn't even know if she wanted to be with me, the whole time she was telling me how much I meant to her. Kept crying kissing me as she left. She said she was more vulnerable with me than anyone else in her life, but had to end it. Said she didn't want a relationship and wanted to work on herself. Same thing she said months before. My head was a mess. It was a 180 overnight. After dropping her things off to her roommate a week later, her roommate told me she does this to guys, is unintentionally two faced, I was nothing special, she felt bad for using me and messing with my head but was already sleeping with someone else. Not dating, it was a guy she didn't even like as a person he was just for sex. Her roommate told me it wasn't my fault. I was a great boyfriend to my ex, and my ex didn't deserve me. I am a sweetheart by nature. I really did love her. I was upset after that. texted my ex, not bringing up I knew about the guy asking what I really meant to her. She blocked me. I saw her a few days later, apologized and left her alone.

a month went by and we saw each other. we were drinking at a club. After the club I confronted her about how her roommate told me about the other guy, how she used me, told her she was toxic to me from the beginning and to stay out of my life. I didn't deserve to get used like that, especially with how well I treated her. And walked out saying your really good at playing the victim. She texted me saying I don't control her and she does whatever she wants. She lives for her and what she does is none of my business. I apologized in the morning, said I know being drunk is not an excuse but I was really drunk and was out of line. I told her I would leave her alone. She said sure and I didn't respond. I left her alone. A lot of my female friends said they were proud of me for standing up for myself because of all the head games she played with me. I don't think the games were intentional, but she really did use me and broke my heart twice. I felt bad about telling her off, but I felt better for standing up for myself. Still..not my proudest moment.

The next week I met up at the same club with a girl I had been talking to. I met her a week before I confronted my ex. We ended up kissing, turns out my ex was right behind me. She ran off with her roommate and avoided us the rest of the night. I saw my ex again later that night at a pizza place next to the club. I left my ex alone and I left with the new girl, and we sat outside by the window for 20 or so minutes. I invited her back to my place but before we left, I looked in before we left. My ex was really upset. And all of her friends were consoling her. I though, she's the one who dumped me, used me, why does she care.

This brings me to my question. The next week the new girl and I, went to the club again. My ex was there. I left her alone. Talked to other people, acted like she wasn't there and kept my distance. Every time she walked past the new girl and I she would stare at me. If she saw I noticed her looking she would turn her head really quick and so would I. This happened like 6 or 7 times. She kept walking by me and kept staring at me. I went to get a drink and she watched me from the dance floor. We saw her at the pizza place again, while we were ordering my ex and her roommate took off quickly. When we left my ex was going back to the pizza place, we were across the street from each other and she kept staring at me sad from the other side of the road. I'm leaving her alone. She broke up with me. She's the one who wanted to end it. She just kept walking past me and watched me all night while I was with the other girl. The thing is, I like the new girl, but even after how I was treated, I still miss my ex. Before she got depressed we had this chemistry I have never experienced before. She felt the same way. Why did she keep watching me all night. Especially when she was the one walking past me watching me?

[nerdy_guy]

it doesn't matter why she kept looking at you. there is something seriously wrong with her so let her be. and if it bothers you a lot, go to another club with your new girl

[evildeadguy316]

She also mentioned problems when we broke up. But it was all miscommunication things. We even talked through them while breaking up. She said she had to do it anyway and kept crying. I do care, because while I'm hanging out with someone else, I really miss my ex.

[nerdy_guy]

Like i said bro, there is something wrong with her. Seems like she's just stringing you along cause she feels good around you. If you're so into your ex, then why are you with a new girl? that's not fair to her. its understandable that you care for her, i don't have a problem with that. but you need to move on. you already have someone new, so you should drop whatever emotional baggage you have with your ex and start move forward with that someone new

[evildeadguy316]

The new girl and I are not really dating. She is just looking for fun after ending her 3 year relationship and she knows about my ex and how I'm looking for a distraction. We just meet up at the club, make out, and go to my place at the end if the night. It's not really something that is going to turn into a relationship. I was very much in love with my ex. And before she got depressed, we had this chemistry I can't explain. A lot if what she did come from her fear to open up. Things got serious and she self sabotaged and ran. I'm just trying to figure out why she kept watching me all night. And when she ended it, she kept crying. It was like she was forcing herself to.

[nerdy_guy]

Here is the thing. Right now, the ball is in your court. Stop thinking about why she keeps staring at you and start thinking what you really want. Do you want to get back with her? Does she still want to talk to you about having a relationship? by all means, i am not telling you to force her to talk to you here okay? but if we assume that she's open to communication, is she willing to open up her past fears about having relationships. Let me help you out a bit, if she has told you about her fears before and you somehow do not fit into that category of what she fears, then it is possible that she is hiding something from you and/or she paints with a broad brush and colors all men the same, so no matter how much you try to make yourself different, she would still be quite defensive about her feelings and/or, she does not trust you enough to let you know how she really feels which should give you a very clear picture as to where you exactly stand in her life

[evildeadguy316]

We ended up talking. I apologized for telling her off. She apologized for what she did to me. She said she heard I was talking poorly about her and didn't think we could be friends. I said I was really upset, and I wasn't talking poorly, I was going to friends for advice trying to make sense of everything. I explained why I reacted the way I did. What her roommate told me when we split up. She wasn't happy with what her roommate said. She looked like she was going to cry and said she cared about me. I told her I cared about her. I said I would leave her be, until she was ready to be friends. She said ok. Later that night, a mutual friend told me her roommate was moving out and ditching my ex on the lease. I found my ex one more time at the club and told her, Don't worry about the past. If she needed me, I would be there for her as a friend. We both made a promise and said ok. We are not really speaking, but it was good to talk it out. I know she does care, even if we are not together. But, it's a start.

Also, I ended things with the new girl, I need to work through things in my own head before I can open up to someone else. I still love my ex and the new girl wanted more than I could give. I realized the new girl was just a rebound, and she deserved better than that. Just not sure where to go from here.

[Snow White]

"Why did she keep watching me all night?" Hmmm, sometimes, as a woman, we may not want to be with someone, but we don't want you to be with someone else either.

"She texted me saying I don't control her and she does whatever she wants. She lives for her and what she does is none of my business." After that comment, I'm not really sure why you are still so drawn to her. You said she said she didn't want a relationship and had told you the same thing months before. It seems this young lady has issues and there is nothing you can do to save her. She made her decision and even started a sexual relationship with someone else.

You deserve much better. Move on.

[evildeadguy316]

We ended up talking. She kept looking at me because she wanted to talk to me. I apologised for telling her off. And explained how her roommate told me a bunch of stuff that painted her in a negative light. The guy is just a rebound. She apologised for what she did to me. She looked like she was going to cry and said she cared about me. I told her I never wanted to control her, and really cared about her. She said she doesn't know if we can be friends, she said she heard I was talking poorly of her. I explained I was talking to friends to get perspective after what her roommate said. Later in the night, a mutual friend told me her roommate/best friend is moving out and leaving my ex with the least. I walked up to my ex again. Said don't worry about what happened, if you need me, I'll be here for you as a friend. We both said ok over a pinky promise, silly I know we are both adults. Then I walked away. I know she has issues. I know ahe is scared to open up to people due to past trauma. I think she ended it because she was scared to open up and tried to find a distraction. I shouldn't, but I still love her. And I'm not sure where to go from here, because if her roommate moves out, she will be all alone. And I still care.

[nerdy_guy]

But you already told her you'll be there for her as a friend. people always have issues, some of them are just easy to fix or deal with while others are more difficult. "still care for her" is quite a broad brush. Do you want her back as a girlfriend? is she ready or willing? you need to figure things out for yourself first otherwise you'll end up hurting her more