My bf calls me stupid, idiot, brainless for more than a year

[Ricca155]

Hi,

This will be quite long and I hope you won't get bored I am really emotionally distressed and broken right now.

Thank you so much for your time in advance and I hope we all solve our issues in life.

I and my bf is currently in vacation. I was excited and really happy being with him here. But all in a sudden, he told me "I cannot enjoy being with you!!,I cannot have fun with you!!". Hearing those words from him, My heart completely shattered. I tried to forgot that incident and try to make my day happy with him. And the next day just right after I woke up he keep calling me "stupid, idiot, brainless" infront of the receptionist (he didn't stop, even if I've nicely told him to stop it) and he just continued all the way going to the new hotel. I've looses my patience and I've told him "you're born idiot" and when he asked for the passport I throw it infront of him and was dragging our language with anger. And when we get into our new room he pushed me in the bed and hit me in the head and I've started to fight back and tried to hit him. And then he told me "I want to broke up with you!! My mistake I came here with you!!" I was crying out of anger and frustrations of my current situation!!.

What the F did I do wrong to him!! I've done nothing but good things him. regardless of how badly he treated me. I just wanted us to be normal couple and him to respect me.

Even in our daily lives he calls me "stupid, idiot, brainless" and so many more faul and nasty words.... and hit me in public infront of his friend.

These are the things that I've compromised and have adjusted my self for him, because I do love him more than my self and I tried and pushed my self to give all the love, care, and support to him and as well as to his parents in which I do love them so much.

He doesn't kiss me
He's not romantic
He's not sexually kinky
He's always irritated of me
He doesn't want me to be playful with him
He shouted at me
He verbally abuse calling me stupid, idiot, brainless etc....like you cannot do anything and you know nothing
He physically hit me
He gets angry with me easily
He talks less with me

I can endure all of these and keep my wants and needs hidden in a box and focus of what he wants. But at least RESPECT me. Whenever he disrespect me, I just wanted to kill my self right away, I'm getting tired of chasing him and letting him understand to respect me. Let's say I am stupid, idiot, brainless!!! Don't I deserve a respect????!!! Even a homeless, uneducated person, disable, and even animals needs a respect!! I respect everyone regardless of what they're, who they're....but why I can't get the same good deeds that I gave to people...

Whenever I go out I see couples happy being together laughing, smiling, holding hands, kissing touching and the guy is being gentleman. I am happy to see them happy. We are the opposite of those and I've accepted it...just to make him happy...that's why I do love him till now. Every time he calls me stupid, idiot, brainless every time he does it it F my mind to a point I cannot focus in life I feel pointless to be productive....WHY THE F is he doing it to me even if it's a joke it's not nice at all it's childish and immature way to say these things to your partner to your partner who's been supportive with all the hardship you had in life to a partner who've been loving you and accepting you regardless how bad you're!!!!

The good things that he does is for me by his own initiative are:
He cares for my health
He cooks with me
He ask me what I want to eat
He hugs me at night
He brings me out with his friend as I've asked him not to leave me alone at home as he broke my trust before, I would only not come with him if we're legally married. P.S I wasn't like this towards him before.
He calls and message me where I am

I just want a normal life, I just wanted him to respect me.

---thank you for reading, would really appreciate to hear your opinion. Have Great day

[donnajean]

No man has the right to hit you for any reason. That alone is reason enough to leave him. The abusive language, lack of respect - my dear, wake up. That is not love in any way, shape or form. You should never, ever give up who you are or what is important to you for anyone. Do not 'adjust yourself' for the happiness of another. If he really loved you, he would never expect that of you. From what you have shared, I'd ask why you are staying? 'Because I love him' is not an answer that will bring you the happiness and peace you crave. Find someone else that will treat you with respect. Get out now before you waste anymore time on a man that doesn't deserve you.

[Snow White]

Ricca155, please read your post carefully. Now pretend it were a very good friend of yours that wrote it. What would you say to her? I know this is hard for you to accept, but your man is not happy with you but doesn't have the guts or maturity to simply break it off with you. My question to you is, why on earth would you want to be with someone is so mean to you? If you had a daughter, would you be ok with knowing she had a boyfriend who spoke to her and treated her like you are telling us he treats you?

Do you think so little of yourself that it is ok for someone to call you such names? Especially someone who is suppose to love you? Would you call your child "brainless" or "stupid"? You speak of being wanted to be treated with respect. We all do. You will not get respect unless you demand respect. He is a weak, abusive man and you need help to let you know you are worthy of much more.

[lauradlou]

Wow, I am so sorry you have been treated that way! You deserve much better. I hope that you find strength to move past this relationship, seek some healing and build new positive relationships. I will be praying for you!