My name is Austin. When I was 16 years old my girlfriend Maggie broke up with me. It was a long distance relationship. She lived in Woodbridge, Virginia and I in Hindman, Kentucky. I met her online when I was 14 and she was 13. We talked for a while that night and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to find she had messaged me again. From that moment I knew my life would never be the same. We would video chat or call each other every single day. This went on for around four months and I realized I was falling in love with this girl. I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. When I told my parents my mother was supportive but my fat her hated the idea of me dating a girl I had never met in person and forbade me from seeing her so we did the best we could. Her parents on the other hand thought it was great she had finally found someone. We would call or skype each other every night for one hour, from 9:00pm to 10:00pm and we would send each other care packages. Keeping it secret from my father of course. She would send me snacks or a blanket she had made and the occasional shirt along with a souvenir from Washington DC, my favorite being a Jurassic Park shirt she bought me at Universal. I would send her a shirt or hoodie of mine along with other gifts such as jewelry. She would spray her perfume on the shirts and it was the sweetest thing I ever smelled in my life. I was falling more and more in love with her every single day. She was the most beautiful and perfect thing I have ever seen. Her face was so beautiful, her voice was the sweetest sound I had ever heard, her eyes so full of life. I could not find a single flaw. But as time went on I could tell she was losing the flame in her heart. She broke up with me during my 16th birthday party. I was so heart broken I couldnt eat my cake or open my presents with a smile. I dwelled on it for months. For around two years after she would message me on and off, as soon as she could feel she was falling for me again she would leave me with an open wound. I fell for this several ties over. I graduated highschool and went to college and met someone new. Soon after I enlisted in the U.S. Army and went to train that summer. While I was gone I found that I was soon to be a father but the pregnancy failed. Regardless I could not find the love and passion in my heart for that woman as I had for Maggie. The flames still burned bright. I wrote her letters while I was on training that I did not send for I knew she or her parents would throw them out and I would be left with no response, so I saved myself the disappointment. Soon after I got home my relationship failed and I realized I wasn't looking for someone new, I was looking for Maggie in someone else. Something I will never find. I am a very picky and judgmental person, but Maggie was the only perfect thing I had ever seen. I have attempted to reach out to her but she never responds. It has been almost two years since I've heard from her. But I still love her. I will never stop loving her. I wish we could push everything that ever happened aside and start over. But I know she has moved on and feels nothing for me. It has been 6 months since the last time I tried to make contact. I am now 20 years old still serving in the U.S. Army. She is 19 now. I have no idea where she is or who she has become. I only know the love that I had and always will have for her but she will never know. Even four years after our breakup I find myself thinking about her daily and experiencing sleepless nights due to my heart break. Why do I still feel this way, after all this time?