Need a man's perspective!

[16cel]

So my boyfriend and I well ex boyfriend now were dating for a total of a little over 3 years. Last November he left the college we attended due to not being able to get a cosigner for his loan (a very unfortunate situation)..anyway a few days after he had left out of nowhere he blocked me on all social media and my phone number without telling me he no longer wanted to be in a relationship. About a month had gone by and I was coming home for winter break. The day I came home he had called me on my phone and I pretty much thought it was the closure I was looking for after being together about 2 and a half years at this point. Two days later we ended up texting and meeting up ever since that day we had been back together up until a few days ago. Things in my opinion were really good until a week prior to this most recent break up. We were looking into getting a place together, we had recently got a phone plan together too. So about a week before this break up happened he had been acting weird and distant I confronted him about it and he just kept saying "I don't know" repeatedly. He wouldn't give me much of any answer. He then told me he wasn't happy anymore but said and promised it wasn't me or because of me. The following day he apologized and told me he wasn't going anywhere and that we were OK. Fast forward to two days before we broke up, we had a small argument over texting and he told me to stop calling him babe when we are arguing and to stop texting him....this took me by surprise and obviously really hurt. Later that day we had the most perfect night I truly felt like everything was back to normal and things were looking up and we truly were fine. The next day (day before breakup) we went to lunch and I said I just feel like I am just bothering you with everything I am doing and he said "I never said that did I". I took this as him being passive aggressive. Anyway that night he went to work and everything seemed fine prior but then when we were texting he was being so short I could almost tell it was coming. I was even considering breaking up with him because I couldn't stand him being this unhappy. The next morning he came to my house after he got off work and I just started crying when he walked into my room, he asked what was wrong and I told him how I felt and how I didn't want to lose him. He told me we would talk when he got up. So we did....(this is where it happens)...I started the conversation I was in full tears 1 minuet in, he just looked upset and his head hanging. I said I feel like you're pushing me away so I will break up with you and asked if he wanted me to break up with him and he said no. But then proceeded to say that he just doesn't want to be in a relationship at this point in his life. So of course completely taken back I questioned it and ask what he can do in our relationship that he will be able to when he's single and he said nothing. (mind you he isn't the type to just go out and have hook-ups etc.)....he left we said we loved each other and that was it......Yesterday we met up went out for a little while although he told a mutual friend he was just hanging out with me to get his things back, in my opinion if I just wanted my things back and was truly done with someone I wouldn't spend 5 plus hours with somebody but who knows maybe that's just me. Anyway I tried bringing up getting back together and his mood changed in seconds and he got really pissed off and short with me when I brought it up. So I changed the subject but everything else felt so normal, I didn't feel different or awkward everything still felt so right. When he took me back to my car I asked him to spend the night and he said no because he was going to a friends place. We hugged and said our goodbyes. I texted him and thanked him for going with me, I said sorry for bringing it up, and that I loved him. He said it's okay. I asked him to not shut me out completely and he said he wouldn't I told him i'd try my best to give him the space he's asking for and he said okay, and then I asked if I should cancel the Florida trip we partially booked for next summer and he said "Idk" to me that means he thinks we may get back together. but I just said ok I'll see what happens a go from there and he said ok, and then I said to have a goodnight and he said okay goodnight.


I am trying to figure out if he's going to come back, if so how do I reassure myself this won't happen again and is he really done with me or is it something more??

Anything helps.

[madotnw_nihs]

He almost seems bi-polar to me. I would have zero assurance this would not happen again. I can almost bet my life that it will happen again. He has danced around on why he is like this. I would leave this relationship if I were you.

[Spinosaurus]

I am sorry you are hurt. I am wondering why you are still waiting for him to finally decide whether or not he wants to commit to you?! You should keep a higher standard in my opinion. Your post indicates you want a relationship, so I would not waste my precious time focusing on this one person that literally told you (and shows you through his behavior) that he is not looking for a relationship. He only causes hurt. Date other men and invest your heart in someone who truly wants to be with you ;-)

[samcrazy]

You can not take more risk. when will you understand that the only person who is getting hurt in this whole thing in YOU!! Break everything with him and start a new life..Move on! As fast as you can! Time will heal everything.. speaking from personal experience.

[Joe264]

Dump him. Classical mistake. There are plenty of real nice man out there while you picked the bad boy.

[janelove121]

Contact Dr. DUGO on E-mail: dugo_d()yahoo.com, he has the spiritual charm to make everything right back for you. Trust me