What's really going on?

[Wallawalla3]

So me and my boyfriend started dating almost two years ago but not officially dating until a year ago. When we first got together there were a lot of problems...he was still getting over his ex, his emotions were very closed off, and I think him and his ex's relationship ended so bad that he wouldn't even last during sex without walking away. You can imagine how I felt...confused, a rebound, etc. but he kept insisting that it wasn't me and that I shouldn't worry about it basically. I also felt like he was extremely aggressive in nature. He would get annoyed or mad easily and if we got into an argument...he would say crazy things to me. So because of all that, our "talking stage" was very wobbly and we would be off and on. Finally a year goes by and he still is keeping in touch/calling me which was surprising because I go to a school in a diff state (we are both from the same state). The distance wasn't really an issue for either of us because I went home pretty often. Anyways, flash forward to our official relationship. It seemed pretty forced because after a year of talking, I was absolutely ready to put a title on things but he wasn't as ready. I felt like I basically pestered him until he finally was down with it. So the relationship was very toxic at first. The arguments, the pettiness, and his character had not really changed. I felt like I was always trying to prove myself to be worthy to him. I felt like anytime there was an argument, he would try to make it seem like it was my fault or if I said I had a problem with something he did, he would call me sensitive and tell me that I'm over analyzing things. For ex: one time he told me that it was better if we were just friends. I told him "okay I understand" and left it alone because it was still early in the relationship so I wasn't completely in love yet. He called me a few hours afterwards when I was with my friends and I answered. He was just talking to me like nothing happened. So of course I ask him what in the world is going on if you tell me the relationship is over but you're calling me. It started a huge argument of him telling me I'm over analyzing everything and that I'm the reason the relationship was failing. He told me I was immature and needed to get to his level by the end. I was so young and naive, I really just listened to it and cried thinking I was so terrible. Yet again, we were willing to start over. The relationship was kind of a roller coaster but things were starting to get better 3/4 into the year of us being official. He finally visited me at school, he was controlling his anger more. I finally felt like I was his girl. Something happened during the last 1/4 though. Things were good and I finally considered spending the rest of my life with him asvwe started opening up to each other. But slowly but surely I started to fall out of love with him. We got into stupid arguments and he still was unable to handle arguments well (ex: calling me a dumbass when mad or getting angry when I asked him a question about some condoms I saw in the dresser). Sometimes he would even go hours or even 1-3 days without contacting me. He would say it was because he was busy at work. So anyways, I slowly lost the reason why I fell in love with him. The relationship was mentally sucking the life out of me, making me insecure and naggy, and making me feel worthless overall. So the day we got into our last stupid argument, I completely lost it and broke up with him. Usually when I break up with him, we get back within hours, but this one was forreal. I told him I no longer loved him anymore because of everything that occurred from the beginning to now. We did have really good times but the bad was just bad... and he was changing too slow for me. I don't feel like after 2 years, I should still be asking you to talk to me appropriately during a little argument/to not make me feel like shit. So of course, he reacted terribly and screamed at me saying f me and that he can't believe I gave up on him and that I'm breaking his heart and ****ing him over. But honestly I did it as straight forward and respectfully as I could. It was the day before my bday so he quickly sent huge flowers to my apartment and was just doing/saying sweet things he had never done before. I wasn't buying it though. So he unfollows me from snap but he was still hurt so he continued to blow up my phone for 3-4 days before I gave in and told him we needed to be separated and give each other space for growth before we can get back together. He was okay with that for 4 days of facetiming casually once at night. The 5th day, he texted me at work saying he realized he's happy without me and that he's done. He blocked me. I was so hurt by this. He begged for another chance and I tried to give him that in the healthiest way possible. I had no way of responding to the message. After breaking down and trying to call him from a diff phone several times/texting him, I decided to have his brother relay the info that I was sorry that I hurt him and that I think we should talk on the phone to see if it could be worked out. Eventually he unblocked me and I called him just for him to tell me that he's moved on and that he has nothing nice to say to me even though he's "not mad". He said that he really doesn't believe my complaints were valid enough for a break up and that I was basically over exaggerating. He told me to stop blowing up his phone because it's "not a good look" even though he blew mine up twice as much the week before.He said he stuck his neck out for me (he has pride issues) and I still decided to ruin the relationship so he was done. I cried and we hung up. He texted me to keep my head up and to "be good" which was very demeaning to me. I texted back positive things like how I still love him and I hope we can meet up again and start from scratch in the future if it was really meant to be. He didn't answer. The next morning I texted him trying to see if he was willing to be friends just to find out I'm blocked. I was hurt for a few days because I felt bad and it was like I forgot all the reasons why I broke up with him in the first place. All I could thing about was regret and the good memories with him. I kept convincing myself that I shouldn't have given up on him but now I'm starting to realize he was just not good to me/not the best boyfriend he could have been from beginning to end. Do you guys think we will ever be friends in the future? He claims he's happy only a week after throwing a temper tantrum from the break up. Do you think I'll be blocked forever? I have no animosity towards him but I think he's just hurt right now. I really doubt someone who had been in a relationship for that long and fell in love could really be that happy? I think he just blocked me for revenge or something.

[madotnw_nihs]

It's hard to say what his reasoning is behind the blocking due to his erratic behavior. It seems doubtful that you two will become friends since communication is such an issue nad it seems that the foundation wasn't great either.

[Hooo!]

paragraphs help other people to help you

[Pollyannaslim]

Hi.
I am so sorry you are hurting. What I do want to express first and foremost, is that I believe everyone should be in a relationship where they are honored, respected, adored and loved by their SO. NEVER is abuse – verbal, included, “OKAY.”
I do know break-ups are never easy – no matter what the circumstances, but often times distance allows one to gain a better perspective of the situation. It’s really not my place to give you advice, but I hope to encourage you to take this time for yourself – to heal your heart and nourish your soul. I have found one of the best ways to do this is by getting involved in a community outreach program. The bonus? A heart that is full from knowing you’ve helped others.
If at any time you feel the need to talk with someone – a counselor, maybe – who can help you see things more clearly, sort through any confusion AND help you recognize the VALUABLE person that you are, PLEASE don’t hesitate to do so. Sometimes it just takes just one phone call or a single prayer to help you find the right path.
Above all, remember that YOU are a precious child of God!

[Romantic0709]

Don't sweat about that guy. No offense girl, but he really seemed like an ass. Why would u not be worth of everything? He's not worth it. He's blocking u because he thinks you will be the one to make an effort AGAIN instead of him. None of this is your fault. So what if he's blocking u for revenge? Don't give a damn about him. Guys are the ones who are supposed

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to be wooing girls. Not the other Way around. Tell him to SUCK IT.