Sorry for this being so long, but I need some advice please.
I started working at a new job over a month ago and I started dating a coworker. We have been dating for 3 weeks. He seemed really into me and everything was fine until one time he asked what do I think about 'us'. So I said, I don't really think about us that much, but I like spending time with you and everything's fine.
And he said:
'I like spending time with you too, and you are really great and fun to be with and you check my entire 'checklist' and everything is fine, but I am not in love'. I thought - well that's normal, we have only been dating for 3 weeks... And I told him I also don't feel in love..
And so on and so on and he said:
'If we weren't working together, we would definitely be together for like 3-4 months but then it would end. And since we would still have to work together afterwards, I wouldn't want that (to be together)'.
But he doesn't want things to end and he doesn't want to be a couple, where I would lose my mind and think of him as my husband till death do as part....
I thought about all that and couple days later I said I want to continue that conversation. And I told him I am not ok with just being together basically only for sex, and I want to try and be 'together' together and just enjoy each other, enjoy each other's company and no expectations, no pressure just chill and see where it goes. And if it doesn't go anywhere then it doesn't. So we agreed to do that and we also agreed to at least not sleep with other people while sleeping with each other (m suggestion, but he agreed at once) and see what happens. And we both said that it's nicer to be with someone and have somebody to hug than being alone all the time plus winter is coming and it's warmer this way both physically and emotionally.
This whole thing was strange really because before he seemed even more into me than I was saying things like how he found my hair and put it on his pillow and slept next to it the whole night. And I would stay at his place in the morning (after the sex) and after breakfast we would watch a movie together...
1. How to figure out which one is it? :
a) He doesn't want this to end just because of sex.
b) Everything is really ok and he just really got scared that I am more into him than he is into me and he cared enough to tell me about this so he wouldn't hurt me (that was at least the reason he said he talked to me about all this).
c) possibly he got scared of his own feelings and got scared of getting hurt, so wanted to back out. He was really really hurt once (3 years ago) when the love of his life left him out of the blue and he only recently recovered.
2. Am I making a mistake staying in this and wanting to make something of it and should just end it?
Or is it possible that this thing might actually work?
My plan was really to focus on my job and career now and I am not in the place in my life right now to look for a serious relationship and plan family and kids.
3. So I think this might kind of work for now, but secretly I am hoping it will turn into something more in the future. (any ideas on how to make that happen?)