Will she ever contact me, again? I said: contact me only in an emergency.

[Mario2]

I need some advice. I´m quickly going to explain what happened. Sorry for my bad English (I’m from Europe).

I was together with my Girlfriend for 15 months. End of August she had to work for 3 months in a foreigner country. So now we had a long distance relationship. Everything seemed to be fine. 1 months before she came back, she told me that she had changed, she changed into someone so different, that we doesn’t fit anymore, and that she doesn’t even want to try anymore, she wants to break up. I tried to talk with her about it, but she said, that she is 100% sure that she wants to break up, and that she feels a strong pressure inside of her that she wants to break up. So I accepted it. When she came back, she still wanted to have a last meeting. So 1 months later she came back, and we talked a little and that it’s over now.

In the last meeting:
She always said that she wants to remain friends. I said no, I can’t do it, I don’t want to be friends. Then she said, that she still wants to stay in contact, I said no – she should only contact me in an emergency. Then she said, but what if something good/exciting is happening in our lifes? I said no, you should only contact me in an emergency. And I said, if you still find things in your house that belongs to me you can just keep it.

She also said: ,,We had so much fun together, like exploring new places or restaurants, we still can do that as friends”.

When I left, I said, goodbye, keep well. She said ,,contact me when you want to be friends again, I know that you still need time for it”.

Then I left.

I acted like that because I want her back. I’m now in day 25 of no contact. I’m wondering if she ever will reach out to me again? Although I said, that she only should contact me in case of an emergency and she said I should contact her if I want to be friends again. I have too much pride to contact her, because I said, that I will go and move on, and if I should contact her after 6-8 weeks she will probably think how weak I am. And not a men of my words.

I’m wondering, will she ever contact me again? Because I want her back. Or should I just try and contact her between week 6 and 8, to meet up again?

Regards

[Yadi]

Just send her a message saying that you're sorry, you were just upset when you said you didn't want to see her, and that you still miss her etc. Perhaps you want to add that you will try to get over her, and then you guys can start chilling more again but for now it is a little too awkward. Unrequited love and all that.

If you think you can handle chilling with her then just do it, but dont lie to her. You clearly haven't moved on yet and you dont want to be making friends under false pretences. However, if you admit your undying love you can still be mates and she might well come around some day. I have a lady-friend who knows I'm a little in love with her and we get on real well, we're real close mates. She's actually engaged right now. Her fiancée knows I'd marry her myself but he doesn't mind either! He does get a little jealous sometimes, as I'm a handsome super-genius, but he knows I wouldn't try to get in the way of his relationship. He knows me and her a friends above all else... In the case of a tragic fairground accident she and I might end up together, but I am not hoping for that to happen. She's happy, and I'm happy for her.

If you are a gent, you can deal with this situation. But you cant wait on her. You can hope, but you cant have a secret objective or it will all go wrong.

[GLYC]

The emergency comment is a little off, I definitely wouldn't have said that as it closes the lines of communication, you should have been genuine, there's nothing wrong with choosing not to be friends, in fact, I think that was a good move. Instead of the emergency comment, You should have stated you're only interested in romance and for her to contact you if she ever feels up for that again.

[Merv]

You sound desperate. If you are needy and desperate, she won’t return. Be the person she first fell in love with

[rjkennedy]

Sounds to me when she took that trip to another foreign land, she caught the eye of someone else she found more interesting. That tells me during those 15 months things wasn't as great as you'd like. She had time to think! But be thankful she didn't dump you a the way. She's still willing to remain friends.

Now swallow your pride, forget that 'call me only in emergency crap' and shoot her a nice suttle text message. A few texts within the first two weeks, then call her. (You know you want to). Trust me, she won't think of you as being any less of a man.