This is a long post, expressing my feelings and annoyance of one thing in my life, Sorry in advance and if you decide to read it I'd love some advice
I don't get it why my gf doesn't reply to me sometimes when she is online, or when she has all the time to check her phone. Everyone else, my friends, best friends, familly, reply to me as soon as they check their phone and super fast.
A very important note before I continue: When she is truly busy, like going out with friends/family, talking to someone, doing something, I totally understand and I don't even expect a reply, I even tell her that it is rude to keep chatting on the phone if you are with someone.
But this, not replying when nothing much is going on, pisses me off. It makes me feel not loved, and makes me think that she prefers doing other stuff than replying or talking to me while I on the other hand, I enjoy talking to her and everytime she msgs me I'll reply as soon as I see it if I'm not in the middle of something or out with people etc.. I don't get that return feeling though...
I do love her a lot but that's the one thing we had an issue with since day one, we've been dating distant relationship for 3 years and I told her since the beginning that this bothers me and I feel I am not a priority in your life, we even broke up for a month cz of at that.
what triggered it was: the 3rd month after we dated I send her a file I made that has all our best moment pics and telling her how much I love her, and she reads it, then do not reply or call or anything, then after 2-3 hours I ask her where did you disappear ?? and she said "oh sorry I saw your picture while talking to a friend who called me, and I thought oh this is so lovely, then I went to dinner and closed the phone. But this is sooo sweeet love it and love youuu "(she is trying to make up for her late reply )
Anyway after that 1 month breakup we got back together, I wanted to give it another try cz I love everything else about her, and later after few months, it happens again, she start ignoring my messages, or replying after hours, even if she shows up online several times in between, don't answer my calls, sleep and wake up without saying gn/gm...
At some point and after mentioning it to her 10+ times I told her: " I can't continue like this, I put you always in priority and make sure your needs are met, but I don't feel you do the same, I think don't have the same values and it's better to take a break for now and see where life takes us"
After I told her that, she called me, cried and said she loves me so much and she'll do anything to make it work. She did, the first couple of weeks, replies instantly, say gm/gn, gives me love and affection, makes me feel loved.
then back to the same story... I love her a lot, so I'm like I got to understand her and why she acts she way. I honestly never did and that's why I'm here.
But you might wonder why after 3 years that I write this post, well, I joined recently the same company she works for but in a different country, and no not because of her, I applied to that company before I met her :p
Anyway, now we are both on the same chatting system of the company, and again, all my friends reply instantly and I do the same, and only her, only her in my entire circle do not reply when she is online or takes a looot to do so.
And btw, when she is exited about something, or she wants to know an information I have, or she needs help with something. She's like instantly replying, and stays late talking etc...
I sound a lot angry, I am not that angry usually but I decided to go all in in this post, that would relieve me a bit at least...
All in all, I want someone by my side that supports me, is there for me, act like my best friend before being my partner, someone I can rely on, talk to and chit chat when I need to, not someone that I count the hours till she replies, or keep thinking of being interesting to get a reply..
I'm not sure why she acts this way my only 2 options are : 1) she is self centered and do not think how I feel if she acts this way. 2) she loves me less than I do. But i'm sure she loves me because she brought the subject of her wanting to spend the rest of her life with me many times.
few. That felt good, If you read all or part of it thank youu. I just wanted to let this off my chest.