Figuring out what she really wants

[jordano00]

Hello,

So there is this girl i like, and weve been talking for months now.

Each time we meet, like with groups, she always get close to me, such as, paying more attention to me than the other people, talking to me and etc. (She is a really shy type)

But for some reason, each time i try to ask her if we can get lunch together, she always puts me off with an excuse. Even one time when we were supposed to meet our friends at a restaurant and only her and I showed up and we drove to the restaurant, she seem hesitant to be alone with me.

I dont get it.

[Mr Married]

It could be just like you said..she is really shy. Try to give her some more time. Some girls need a
lot of reassurance to move ahead. Confidence can be tough for some girls. I think she likes you
but needs the security of other people around to be comfortable....keep going...don't give up !

[bulrush]

She might just want to be a friend. Ask her directly if she wants to date you. If so, go on a date right then and there to be happy.

[jordano00]

I wanna ask her, but i wanna move slow, she is chinese and im not so i dont know their culture when it comes to starting a relationship.

I've been in contact with her several times, like touching her arm or grabbing her arm and slight grabbed her hand when i say goodbye to her. She didnt seem to mind it.

[Looclooloc]

It could be just a form of interpersonal relationship she wants that doesn't have to fallow the strict mentality of the Friend vs Boyfriend. She might be romantically interested in you just not in a way involving going out lunch or being alone with you. It could also be the case that she just wants to remain close friends ether temporally or permanently.

[jordano00]

She seem to interact with me more than the other guys who she works with for the club meetings.

I got kinda jealous when she saw her guy friend when we were together and she approached and talked to him.

[Mr Married]

If you show her in any way shape or form that you were jealous it is going to kill your confidence skills in her mind.
Don't do that. Man up and ask her on a date if you can't wait.

[jordano00]

I mean i can wait, i dont want to suddenly catch her off guard and just ask her to go on a date with me.

But if that's what i have to do, how should i ask her? When should be a good timing to ask her?

[Hooo!]

Lucia. Don’t get me wrong or anything but I think you are ... and ... and I would really like to get to know you more. No pressure or anything. However you seem very shy to me and I don’t know how I’d best go about it. What do you think how I should do it? :-)

- - - Updated - - -

When you feel like it’s appropriate.

[Mr Married]

You sound really young...gather up all your courage and don't let fear stop you. I'll give you this tip...and carry it with you the rest of your life:

You will never reap the rewards of a relationship if you aren't able to put your fears of rejection aside.

Make it simple: Tell her you have really enjoyed being around her and enjoy talking to her. "Would you like to go out this weekend to ________"

Make sure you fill in the black with some place and don't leave it open ended. Girls like confident guys that can make a choice/plan.

[bulrush]

> I wanna ask her, but i wanna move slow, she is chinese and im not so i dont know their culture when it comes to starting a relationship.

Ok, so she might not get that being direct is helpful. That might be part of her culture, or she's just shy. The Chinese are not all the same but it's common that the woman will never ask the man out, which is why you have to start things rolling. Once you go on a date, then go slow. Just talk, ask her about her life, what she food, movies, hobbies she likes, etc. But if she is too insecure for you to deal with, I understand. You will simply have to determine if you can adjust to her going slow.

Be wary that she might have intimacy issues that can really mess with the relationship. I've been there. I was the one with the problem.

[jordano00]

Sorry for delay.
Im meeting her tomorrow around noon time. Any suggestions on what we can do together?

[Hooo!]

Have fun. Enjoy your time. Don’t be afraid of touch or saying the wrong thing

Be interested in her and her motives