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Thread: LDR but is too nervous to do anything.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
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    LDR but is too nervous to do anything.

    Hi all, I'm new to this and I need some advice on an issue I'm having.

    So around a year and a half ago I met a girl online. She lives in Norway and I live in the UK. I've always had a thing against LDRs because I know how hard they can be, so for the first year we was just friends. We became really close really fast as we were both going through similar things but I'll save you the lecture on that. Long story short, we became super close, super fast and she was basically one of the only people I spoke to. It was just over a year in that she asked me how I feel about her, to which I replied that I just see us as friends and all love I have for her is platonic. I didn't particularly want to ask how she felt about me because I had a feeling I knew where it was going... she ended up telling me that she was deeply in love with me anyways.

    So this is where the problems start. She had told me before that she had a boyfriend (also long distance) and said that she wanted to let me know just in case I had feelings for her (at that time, I did not). After she told me that she was in love with me, I felt nothing really, it didn't affect me... She became more flirtatious as time went on and if I'm honest, I started getting feelings for her.. very strong feelings. I hid those feelings for a while until they boiled to a point where I couldn't hold it no more.

    Since then, we've basically been talking like we're a couple.. I've asked her if she's going to break up with her current boyfriend but she says that he's going through some tough times and he's apparently considered suicide before so she doesn't want to end it in spite of that. Maybe I'm being too much of a push over.. I've asked her how she feels about him and apparently it's just platonic. She says that she still says that she loves to him still which is one thing that gets me down a lot. I've asked many times before for pictures of her (she has sent two), just so that I can see her face. She always says shes's too nervous and kind of just avoids it all the time. I've asked if I can skype her.. nope. I've told her that I'm literally willing to go to Norway and meet her.. nope. I know it seems really suspicious but I just don't know what to do. I constantly think about her and I feel like it's becoming an obsession.

    I know this was really vague and I don't even know what kind of advice I'm asking for.. I'm just unsure of what to do anymore. I appreciate any advice.. you can be as brutally honest as you like.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
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    you're being played. let her go.
    all there is to it.

    sorry.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
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    If she can't video chat you then there is something seriously wrong....something dishonest is going on.
    Your judgement has been clouded by your feeling. There is nothing real about this relationship except the illusions
    in your mind.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    West Michigan
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    She had told me before that she had a boyfriend (also long distance) and said that she wanted to let me know just in case I had feelings for her (at that time, I did not).
    She doesn't know what she wants, or she is playing you to feed her own ego. Find someone else.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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