Do you think joining online dating will help my son...?

[flurry85]

Something tragic happened to our family a year ago. I lost my wife, the mother of my child. She was battling cancer for the span of 6 months and it was really heartbreaking. We did a lot of chemotherapy but we ended up losing her.

I’m left with a kid I don’t even know how to give him the care only a mother can. Now, he’s been yearning for his mom. He needs a mother. This left me stunned, confused and concerned, to be honest, I don’t know how to address this!
I even talked to my friends and one suggested about committing myself with dating tours or dating foreign events, I like the idea but I still need to decide about it.

Do you guys think joining such form of dating will satisfy my son’s yearning for a mom? Will I be able to fall in love again if I do?

[bulrush]

Don't get a woman just for your son. The woman you date must be someone that adds to your life and be part of the family. You don't want to have different women marching in and out of your life. My mom dating different men didn't bother me, but I'm a weirdo. It does bother a lot of kids.

You need to learn how to be more nurturing while being firm too. There must be firm moments and loving moments. Look for books on raising a child. The worst things you can do to a child: coddling him, and being too hard on him. There is a middle that most people never find.

[lovebroken]

I hope this isn't another ad for that ****ing Foriegn affair tour / dating BS and stooping to a new low as to add a death story into it.

[richiro]

no it won't. he wants "mom"... not "a mom".
it takes time. everybody grieves differently. let him grieve.

what will help is to love him and let him know he's not alone, its okay to miss mom, and that anytime he needs to talk about anythign to anybody he can - whether it's you, somebody else, a female adult figure, an aunt, your sister, his grandma, etc.

eventually he'll be ready for your to date again and see other females around .. but be very careful about this now while he's grieving. 'replacing mommy too soon" may make him hate you and cause a huge rift. But having female friends who can have the female touch there aroun dhim (for hugs, etc.) may not be a bad idea but only people he's comfortable with and can understand that this boy is grieving.

good luck.

[jay2665]

Just try it out, i suppose it may help you to have a new start to life and your son. No matter its good or not, move forward is better than no progress.

[Wakeup]

I think the two of you would do well to attend grief counseling. You're both grieving the loss of a wife/mother and trying to replace his mom in hopes he'll stop grieving isn't the answer.

If you're going to date then do so when you are ready and don't make it about your son. Please do not introduce any women to your son until you are sure that the relationship is solid, reciprocal and you both want to advance the union to more then just dating.

You do not want to have him hurt yet again if he were to bond with someone you're dating only for you to discover that she's not going to be someone you want to spend the rest of your life with... only for her to be gone from his life as well.