Men are under enormous pressure to perform in bed and if they don't think they can do well they might not even try. And he might also be tired from work. And he might also be fapping too much, which makes him tired, and releases some sexual tension. There are many thing that can affect Mr Happy and most of them have nothing to do with you. If he says he wants to then he wants to, stop over thinking this and making a good relationship into a mess.
Talk to him to say things like he doesn't need to feel pressured to perform, that you two can just like naked in bed and if somethings happens great, if not, that's ok too. Be understanding if he can't get hard and reassure him that it's not a big deal, and you two can try again later. Helping him relax will help a lot.
You're going to have to take the lead on this as this is a difficult subject for many men. His biggest pressure could come from his own nagging voice in his head. He needs to stop that.
I also feel that I have been a bit passive and waiting for him to decide when to meet and sleep, etc. I am wanting to take the lead now and tell him something like: hey, bring your work clothes and stay for the night today with me. And then see how he reacts.
Many men like this but are pretty shocked when a woman takes the lead, because it's so extremely rare with Western women. Just because he's shocked does not mean he doesn't like you taking the lead. He's just not used to it.
Last edited by bulrush; 03-04-18 at 07:09 PM.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
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