I've noticed people are saying this about me who don't know me. In recent weeks/months I have become friendly with a neighbor in my apartment building, she and I have been going out to a lot of theater events and things on the weekends. Usually I go to them alone because I can't find someone else to go with and we've built up a good relationship based on mutual want/need.
Her husband (who I keep my distance from for a variety of reasons as they are on the rocks at the moment) has said something to her that I am aware others have said about me. He thinks that I'm gay. I'm a 43 year old woman who's never been married. He says he never sees me with a man, he never sees friends or anything coming in and out of my apartment. My friend (his wife who I will call Sally) said that I'm a private person and I don't really broadcast a lot of things about myself in terms of my relationships with others (romantic or otherwise), but I am not gay. I know these things about myself, I don't need her or anyone else to point this out to me. But others think I'm gay because I have never been married. I've had people start calling me those cruel names (old maid, spinster, etc.) and wonder why I have never been married or why I don't have a bf. Someone has said to me on a few occasions when they are leaning into me like this no wonder I'm 43 and still single. I think that's horrible to say to someone.
What do I say to these things other than contradict them if I am asked these questions? I think it's ignorant of others to assume this in this day and age but people fall back on these things because it's easiest. It's not what I wanted for myself, I wish I had a husband/bf, but that seems to be what it is.