She slept with someone else while we were dating

[Jud4]

I have been seeing my girlfriend for about 10 months. At the start I took her out on two dates and then for a week or so she stopped texting me, then came back out of the blue. We went out on a third date and then progressed through to our current relationship. I just found out that after she met me she went out on a girls night out and met someone else. She went on several dates with him and ended up sleeping with him. She states this was a mistake, that she wishes it hadn't happened. Our relationship was fine up until this discovery but this has upset me and caused me to think about whether we should continue even though I love her.

[bulrush]

She made a serious error and this is a serious breach of trust. Relationships are based on trust and communication. Do you actually want to stay with her since she's shown she has little self-control? Because her lack of self-control will plague the relationship forever. This is part of who she is and you need to accept that.
You really don't mean anything to her, this is not what someone does when they care about a person.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, let's step back for a minute. WHEN did this happen? Did this happen during the time when she'd disappeared on you for a bit? Did this happen while you two were in the "just dating" phase? Or did this happen after you'd already had the exclusive talk? Already decided to consider yourselves officially boyfriend and girlfriend?

I only ask because I do think that can make a big difference. For example, if this happened during the time she disappeared on you for a bit... well, that happened after you two had only been on two dates. Why exactly would you expect her not to be dating anybody else at that point? If you two were not yet exclusive when she slept with somebody else, then I don't personally think she did anything wrong. Heck, in that case you could even look at that as a good thing for you. She went to the next level with that guy... and yet decided he wasn't right for her, but she's still with you. Meaning you are apparently more interesting to her than that guy was.

On the other hand, if you two were serious at the time when she slept with somebody else, then I would pretty much echo bulrush's sentiments almost exactly.

[madotnw_nihs]

I agree with Evil. If you were just starting out and she slept with someone, it's not as big of a deal. I know it still hurts and it sucks, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

[bunnyhabit]

did she ever commit to a monogamous relationship with you? did you ever indicate you demanded she be exclusive to you for sex? "if not you have nothing to complain about. sounds like you were just dating from your narrative so she has every right to sleep with anyone she desires.

[Hooo!]

So what exactly is the problem?
She loves you
You love her
She made a mistake long ago when she didn’t even know you really
I don’t get it

Be happy you have such an honest caring person in your life and stop being a selfish d...

[pcmaster]

Did you both agreed on monogamous relationship when you got married? If not then by default relationship is open- poligamous.Its the 21. century she dont own you any commitment.

Just kidding. Sure two dates can make you feel like being exclusive and I think thats how it should be. But it is what it is, life is not a fairy tale so dont be a pussy and get over it. I asume dating world in UK is same as in US since UK copy everything.

I have a friend who was with a girl for 3 years and at relationship beginning he wasnt quite honest with a girl. 3 years later girl still kept bring it up, was paranoid and didnt trust him in a way that she was checking him. He said it needs to end so he dumped her.

[omgtotallyxo]

2 dates? You were basically strangers. No big deal she went out with other people. It isn't a breach of trust unless she promised to be exclusive after 2 dates.

[GLYC]

Yeah, 2 dates. Let it go, you weren't exclusive yet, women fall in love slowly. Us men can basically go in a date and think "God, she's so amazing, I need to have her", but women aren't like that. She did nothing wrong.

And in fact, everyone should keep their options open early on while dating.

[Minikimini]

If you weren't exclusive, the she didn't cheat on you and didn't owe you monogamy. That's unrealistic with someone you barely knew.

If you want to make this the hill to die on, then just leave her alone and look for someone else.