how to talk to someone and give them your number/info

[frayadventure]

Hello,

I need some help. Recently I went into a store and met a man and, well, our eyes connected while he was helping my father and I out. But I often look away when people do this because I am shy. However I felt comfortable and kept looking up, and he had a good feeling in his eyes; he only looked at me while he was talking; even when my father was talking, he kept looking at me. He kept staring at me and seemed very nice with me. Yeah, I know, retail people are supposed to be nice but he was different with my father (blunt)/other customers and different with me. This was a different feeling. I can feel the difference. Usually men look at me normally in a business sense since I look young and they aren't interested of course. But this man was different, and also I remember him from a month ago in the same area when he helped my father, he kept looking at me back then too.
Well, I'm used to having long distance relationships. Since I am shy, it's difficult for me to come up to someone. But this time I think I can do it.
I don't want to be creepy so I don't know when they work and what not but the next time I come into the store and they are there, I want to be prepared and see for the 3rd time if they will stare at me again like they did the past two times. If they do then I think I know the answer (if they don't then I'll just walk away) so then the question turns to: but how can I instigate a communication? How do people do it? Perhaps after asking them questions like on the gear at store, or some other product q's, I leave a note discreetly with my number and note? Or I just be direct? Bleh... I don't know. I really want to get to know them, see if they are for me or not. Maybe I am not supposed to like someone who is at their work? How else do people get to know one another this way when their eyes meet in a random place? lol help~

also here's the thing, 'asking' a man for their number or giving them mine? honestly I look young for my age so also want to be taken seriously too... i know it's usually men that do it but sometimes women should take the initiative too.

Well thanks for the help and advice everyone.

[DalM0m]

It's very tricky when you meet somebody in a service industry. Those folks, including salespeople in stores, their jobs are to be nice to people. Many shy inexperienced people mistakenly conclude that service professionals are interested in a relationship when all they are interested in is making a sale.

Do go back to the store & talk to the guy about personal type stuff: does he like working there; what's the funniest thing that ever happened to him etc. Keep it G rated. Because he's in sales, if he wants more, he has the social skills to take it a step farther & ask for your contact info.

[frayadventure]

It's very tricky when you meet somebody in a service industry. Those folks, including salespeople in stores, their jobs are to be nice to people. Many shy inexperienced people mistakenly conclude that service professionals are interested in a relationship when all they are interested in is making a sale.

Do go back to the store & talk to the guy about personal type stuff: does he like working there; what's the funniest thing that ever happened to him etc. Keep it G rated. Because he's in sales, if he wants more, he has the social skills to take it a step farther & ask for your contact info.

omg yeah you're totally right, they are supposed to be nice, but they weren't making the sale to me, but to my father and they weren't peppy or an easy to talk to person, really they just gave answers to my father's questions so ... you know people who usually want to sell try to convince people, use convincing language, are enthusiastic but this man didn't try to do those things. i don't even know what rank they are, i guess they are sales associate? so yeah sales associates try to sell people stuff. but i don't know, i got totally different vibes since i wasn't the one buying anything, and i can tell when someone is looking at me in that way (interest). i didn't talk to them on a 1-1 level as my father was there, i only said a few things to them and my father as a group thing, and the man had kept staring at me even after i was done speaking (i know i say staring, sounds kinda heavy, maybe gazing is better?). but since it was the 2nd time i saw them, that's why I just get that 'feeling'.

i will go back though, i don't know about personal questions in the beginning, but I thought about asking some questions on the gaming computers (i'm actually interested in purchasing one in the future faaaar off but eh why not) and maybe that would help leap things forward into other subjects.

whew thanks for your advice though DalM0m, it's really good.

[PRW]

The guy isn't going to act on anything when you are with other people in any case. You'll need to be alone.

If you give him your number first or ask him for his first, he might see you as an easy "mark" and take advantage of you. I know some women are bold enough to do that, but even in those cases it is in a different setting and some familiarity has already been established between them.

Keep in mind that if a guy won't take the initiative to act first and ask you for your number he may:

1. already be with someone
2. not into you
3. he doesn't have the confidence to get it done

All of these are a concern, but the 3rd one can be dangerous,...these are the ones that can be clingy and turn into stalkers if they get rejected later. It is the fact that you can never know how that will turn out is what makes that the really bad one.

[frayadventure]

Yes 3 is important to remember. I think it is more so relevant to this situation, although he could very well have a girlfriend so anything is possible.
And yes, I will be alone too of course. Great advice PRW. I'll see what happens. First off whenever I do go back (hopefully), I want to see if he's looking at me while I peruse around - break my comfort level and actually make some eye contact here and there if he is looking, before I ask questions. Well of course retail workers look at people to see if they need help but err .. .we'll just see. I'll update this thread when it happens. Boom or bust.

[PRW]

I want to see if he's looking at me while I peruse around - break my comfort level and actually make some eye contact here and there if he is looking, before I ask questions.

Looking for signs of attraction before taking action, while also realizing that not every "look" is a sign,...that is very good and smart.