How to attract men

[MortensOrchid]

I have been in debate with this topic for a long time with some. I never meet anyone, I don't attract men in the slightest other than to chit chat for a bit. So let me put this out there to others - You see a woman across the room (let's say, outside of the internet that is). What, guys, makes you want to at least say hello to her? My one guy friend said he thinks it's because I keep myself covered up too much. I should be wearing a little top that shows off my boobs more. Even when it's 40 degrees outside. The weather is a factor we will not consider when we answer this question, however.

[MsLondonB]

Not sure what you're expecting exactly. It's very rare that a man will approach a random woman, even if he finds her beautiful! In fact the more beautiful, the more intimidated he will be and won't do it. Unless she's at a bar, club or singles event is that what you mean?

Of course there are things you can do to make yourself more attractive if you believe that's an issue, but be careful that you don't come off "too sexy" because that might send the wrong message, assumimg you are looking for a relationship and not casual sex.

I sometimes have men approaching on street and saying hi, but I don't like being approached that way, I'm usually busy doing stuff, don't know him and it feels weird to me. I usually meet men at clubs, or through friends or on line.

We strike up a conversation, and either we click and feel a pull or we don't. I think a lot of it has to do with the energy we project. I've been told I have good energy which helps!

When chatting, maintaining eye contact, showing enthusiasm, listening and asking questions are all ways to pull a man into your orbit.

Hope that helps!

[smackie09]

Dress for success! Covering yourself up, makes you look dull, and closed off. You need to accentuate your femininity. Be a woman. Wear some makeup, put on some nice heels, wear a dress to show off your legs, or a tight sweater with leggings, dress it up with some jewelry, put on some nail polish. No one is saying to dress like J-lo, but make a damn effort to look attractive. Men are very visual creatures, they like the female form, they also are attracted to the eyes/face so put on a little makeup, curl your hair, etc. I agree with the above poster, you also need to be very responsive, flirty, bright, and have good eye contact....even women need to show confidence in order to attract men.

[omgtotallyxo]

Men don't usually approach women randomly in public. Because usually women don't respond so well and think its creepy.

What about men you work with, go to school with, who you interact with on a daily basis?

Talk to them, be friendly.

Dress like you are open for business.

[MortensOrchid]

I tend to keep others at a distance who I work with. Plus the single men I work with are gay.

[DalM0m]

I am a woman but I never had trouble attracting men, even when I wasn't dressed all that wonderfully. The key is offering a smile to others & being open to saying hello first. You don't have to come on to the guy . . . just say something anything to break the ice.

In college far from the NY area, while wearing a NY Yankees shirt I told a cute guy wearing a Mets hat that they suck. We dated for several months.

If you are going out with the idea that you want to attract a man, pick a touchable fabric (it can be a turtleneck as long as it's soft, think cashmere) & dangling earrings. You want that shimmer when you move. Do smile & look kind.

Be interesting. Be able to carry on a conversation about a variety of subjects.

[Archie]

You expect a man to notice you from across the room, walk up to you and ask you on a date?
If you find someone attractive, make the effort to walk up to them. Don`t make it obvious. Say, a guy is standing near the coffee machine, you walk up to them, get in line, maybe order a coffee of your own and start talking to him.
It doesn`t matter so much how you`re dressed, as long as you are interesting to be around with and give the man a lot of attention. It will come the other way around as well.

[dollhouse]

I don't think it is because you are covered up and tits and ass isn't on display that most men won't talk or approach you, most of the men I know like a classier woman, dresses pretty and feminine not a video vixen apparel or VS scantily dressed type, especially out in public, maybe in private with them or exception on the beach in a bikini. You still have to be true to who you are, can't just fake a look and not think others will see through the dress up act.

[topazlight]

Men tend to be visual creatures but what they like more I have found is compliments and flattery and taking an interest in their interests.

[TheEvilJester]

I have been in debate with this topic for a long time with some. I never meet anyone, I don't attract men in the slightest other than to chit chat for a bit. So let me put this out there to others - You see a woman across the room (let's say, outside of the internet that is). What, guys, makes you want to at least say hello to her? My one guy friend said he thinks it's because I keep myself covered up too much. I should be wearing a little top that shows off my boobs more. Even when it's 40 degrees outside. The weather is a factor we will not consider when we answer this question, however.

You've had a bunch of women responding already. It is kind of a shame I am only the second guy to respond because I am NOT a normal guy by any means. LOL! So, I can answer based on me... but I don't know that my answer will necessarily be what works for other guys. So, first off, what would make me talk to a random woman? Well... based on personal history, I'd probably say almost nothing. LOL! I've always been ridiculously shy around women. So, even when I WANTED to, in the past I was too shy to just do the cold approach.

What would make me WANT to talk to a woman? ...Actually, for me that is harder to answer as well. For most guys, I imagine it is just if she's attractive. Not that men are just automatically shallow, but that's really the first thing they notice. Whether they actually want to ask the girl out may depend upon the conversation/if they seem to click, but the attractiveness is usually the first thing they notice. Me...I'm still a guy. I'm still straight. So, sure I absolutely notice if a girl is attractive. But, that isn't enough for me to even want to talk to her. There's has to be something that specifically catches my eye. Some intangible even I cannot personally describe. I don't want to just talk to every attractive girl I see. I want to when there is some intangible something that makes me think maybe we'd actually hit it off if given the chance.

...Anyway, blah blah blah. LOL! I guess my point being it is not the same for all guys. So, I do agree with the others. In fact, I'd offer guys asking how to attract women the same advice... if you feel like you aren't attractive, there are ways to improve on that. If you can do things to feel better about yourself, you'll project that positive attitude even if you don't realize it and others will pick up on it. Not to mention, attractiveness is very subjective. Maybe you don't think you are attractive.... but plenty of guys would disagree with you.

I also agree with the others that it never hurts to be the one to try to initiate. Yes, it would be nice if the guy makes the first move. No, you don't want to wind up with a guy where you ALWAYS have to basically drag them through the relationship because they are too shy and/or clueless to know what to do. But, as a shy guy myself, I can vouch that just because men don't approach you/hit on you/ask you out... it does not necessarily mean it is because they don't want to do just that. So, sometimes making the first move can help. Beyond that, we can't necessarily say what you may be doing or not doing that could be hurting your chances since we aren't close enough to your situation.

But, you can find somebody if that is what you want. Good luck to you!

[Hooo!]

A great body
Open body language
A nice face helps
Voice and smell are important too

No freaky mindset shit
Flirty but not easy to get
Touchy but not too touchy
Nice eye contact „lingering eyes“

Then there is this whole character thing, but I don’t wanna get into it here

[Minikimini]

The only thing that I can think of is that you probably don't give off the air of being approachable, so that's why men don't approach. Also, if you're trying too hard and bring a boatload of expectations, that's a very strong vibe being given off that a lot of men pick up on.

Have you ever just gone out to have fun, meet people and that be all your evening is going to be, or do you go out with the express goal of meeting your next boyfriend?

Men can be attracted to women in sweats with their hair in a ponytail at the gym IF she appears to be approachable. If she is closed off, energetically, because she's enveloped in a cloud of unspoken expectations, then they're going to take a pass on that woman.

[cocacola]

What attracts me to unattractive guys is they dress up and have some "attitude" about them. It goes such a long way, I cant even tell you. I dated a guy but he had a bad body and had to focus on his face which was medi-oker...but I fell for him hard. Something about him and wasnt his looks. Also works for girls.

[MortensOrchid]

Once many years ago I was in a bar with a guy friend. He said he had to use to the bathroom then we would go. I said okay and I sat on a bar stool waiting for him. I wasn't dressed outlandishly or in a costume or anything, I was just wearing typical clothes (jeans and a T shirt and a jacket). While I was sitting there, some guy came up to me and leaned in closer. He said "Don't look so sad, someday someone will come along and he'll make you happy." I looked at him, surprised. And then he walked away. I realized I must look pathetic or maybe he was drunk.

Well, that was 10 years ago and I have had nothing but bad luck since.

[GLYC]

As a guy, I don't even like trying to hit on women in bars. Not really my scene.

I'm genuinely just out there to have a good time with whomever I went there with. These days, I rarely even go to bars, and if I do, it's to hang out with some people that I haven't seen in a long time.

Really, the only way I would go out of my way, is if I was getting a really obvious sign.

Obvious sign = Woman staring in your direction, smiling.

As a guy, if that happens, I'll wave or if the woman's close to me I'll just casually say "Hey, how's it going" or say some stupid phrase "It's Monday.. Rough start to the work week?" and wait to hear her reaction.

Sometimes it's just a woman being friendly, and she has no interest. But it's way more inviting versus a woman that's closed off with her arms crossed, or a bad expression that doesn't look like she cares about anything. It's actually funny, I was talking with one of my friends the other day, and a lot of the previous women I had dated. I really wasn't super attracted to them until I actually interacted with them, there's so much truth to how you show up and interact with others how that can be attractive. A person that's happy, smiling, laughing, and just enjoying their life. That's attractive. I obviously had some draw to them before I first spoke to them, but it was never anything concrete until I actually saw how great of a person they were. If they wouldn't have responded positively during our first encounters, I honestly wouldn't have even tried.

Which.. you mentioned the guy commented "Don't look so sad", so possibly you weren't wearing a really positive demeanor? Unless he was completely just bs'ing with you.

It's true that you have to show some interest. If it's a woman that doesn't show any interest in me, or the conversation is completely one-sided and it feels like I'm interviewing a woman, I typically don't even bother with more. I find that if there isn't that basic level of mutual effort, it's just not worth it. and she isn't that into me And, if at the start a woman views me as a 5/10. I'm not going to stick around and try to change her mind, I'm just going to continue on. Even if you get a woman's number at that point, it's likely just going to go to voice mail, or the number toss off just to get rid of you. Which there's nothing wrong with that, rejection is all a part of the game! And in fact, as a man, rejection is a good thing, it weeds out that that person isn't in it like you are and you can find someone who is.

Also.

With the lack of men approaching.

I think some of it can be attributed to today's culture as well. Not as many men approach women anymore. I used to hit on women at bars, and the people I was hanging around with at the time were shocked when I cold approached some women. A lot of people that I know that are in relationships are due to having some kind of mutual friend between them, or scenario that basically had them around each other regularly (work, parties, interlocked social circles, etc.). Plus, some men just associate the idea that approaching a random woman as being creepy, and I think every man has probably faced rejection while approaching women as well at some point in their life. For some men, it's completely terrifying to approach a woman. And I can totally relate to that at times in my life. A lot of people take rejection seriously, view it as humiliating and in return, a lot of people really are more passive with dating.

Plus. So many people are using online dating apps as well, you don't even have to approach people anymore if a person doesn't want to, hell, you don't even have to leave the house.