What to think about this?

[nerfipro174]

At first i want to sorry about my bad english. I'm from Poland and it's not my native language. I had to help myself a little with google translate but I hope everything is understandable.

Hello. I'm 16 years old. At the beginning of December, I met a girl on Facebook. She's 15 years old. At the beginning chatting with each other was very pleasant, we had similar interests and views on the world. I learned that she goes to the same school as me (I didn't know it before, my school is quite large) which made me happy, I thought we would be able to see each other more often. After a few days of writing on Facebook we met in reality. The meeting was short and really spontaneous, none of us had planned it before. We agreed 15 minutes earlier, cause she was in my neighborhood. The meeting was very nice, a short walk around the city. We had a really good conversation. At school we did not really pay attention to ourselves (or at least she did). Even I was wondering if it's not my fault, because the first day after meeting as we passed in the corridor she told me "Hey". I was very unfortunately busy talking with my friend and I didn't hear it. Afterwards she hasn't spoken to me at school, but she didn't look offended. I was also very afraid to speak, cause she always was going with her friends. During that time we were chatting regularly on Facebook. I even noticed she was trying to get us closer. She started to trust me and often spoke a lot of things in trust. She wrote more and more tender words. She even once asked "Do you care if I like you?" . Now I know how big mistake I made but then not knowing how to answer, I told her jokingly: "Is this one of those female questions that will not matter what you answer and the answer will be bad anyway?" And on that point it ended. Other time she wrote out of the blue without any context "It makes no sense. I see that nothing will come out of it". I asked her several times what did she mean, but she always replied with "Figure it out" or "Perhaps I will tell you in the future" but she still wasn’t seem to be offended. She chatted with me very willingly but I noticed she wanted to worse our relationship a little. After some time she started to write messages like "Ginger hair are the most beatiful in the world and I want to my future boyfriend has them" (I'm dark), or she wrote straight out that in her opinion I’m ugly. But if in her eyes I’m ugly what was the point of these games at the beginning? Something does not fit here. It is also worth adding that neither I nor she had any "bigger" relation with opposing sex before. Honestly, I do not know what to think about all this: /

[nerfipro174]

Anyone help?

[DalM0m]

You need to be kinder & more attentive to her. There is no reason you can't meet up in school. Make arrangements to spend a few minutes together each day.

Are there any school events coming up that you can ask her to attend with you? Try that.

You can't have a virtual relationship. You have to stop with the facebook garbage & move to real life interactions.

[Anonymous456]

I hope Google Translate can translate my words here.

Okay, so if I were to summarize your story to you, it would be that you gave her the wrong hints, and that you accidentally and indirectly suggested that you don't like her in a romantic way. I think that's the problem here, you gave her expectations, yet you crushed those expectations. I think at this point, I'd assume that she already moved on, however if you still want to go after her, here are my suggestions.

1. Figure out if she still likes you
It's important to establish that if you seek to have a relationship as your end goal with her, you need to definitively know whether or not she likes you. This is especially true in your case as it seems like directly asking her out, after she's just moved on, might end in a bitter disaster. But if you're still keen on being honest with her, even if she doesn't like you anymore, then I'd suggest you go for it. There is a possibility that she'll reciprocate your feelings.

2. State your intentions clearly
It seems that you like her (if I'm not mistaken). Communication is important in clearing up misunderstandings, so go tell her how you feel mate! The more vague you make yourself out to be, the less progress you'll have in clearing things up. Do this by having a chat with her or something. It doesn't have to be planned nor formal, although you most certainly can make it that way. You can do this by inviting her to a school event or festival where there are opportunities for you to have a serious conversation. The atmosphere in these events are usually light to, so it can help better the mood when you guys are talking. You can also bring it up in a random conversation, if you feel like its appropriate. Or if you're a coward like me, do it through text. I'll have to warn you though that talking to her through text is not going to be as effective as meeting face to face, as it may lower your chances of getting a desired response.

3. Accept whatever answer she gives back at you
If she tells you that she doesn't like you anymore, then accept that and don't force the issue. I won't blame you though, if you'd want to try asking her out again, but I suggest you do this when the circumstances are right. Are you rekindling your old romance? Is she beginning to like you again. Those are some of the questions you're going to have to ask yourself, if you are to try again.

If she accepts your romantic feelings, then uhh... Accept her answer, and start being more sensitive toward her. Don't go overboard though.

Side Note: Okay, just because she likes ginger hair and you have dark hair doesn't automatically mean she doesn't like you anymore. It's a possibility, but not something that one should make conclusions from. I think she's just trying to test you out, and see if you have feelings for her. But then again, I could be wrong.

- - - Updated - - -

Another side note: I'd like to hear back from you if you're fine with that.

[smackie09]

She's just trying to get your reaction, like little girls do....she's teasing you. Tease her back.

[nerfipro174]

I hope Google Translate can translate my words here.

Okay, so if I were to summarize your story to you, it would be that you gave her the wrong hints, and that you accidentally and indirectly suggested that you don't like her in a romantic way. I think that's the problem here, you gave her expectations, yet you crushed those expectations. I think at this point, I'd assume that she already moved on, however if you still want to go after her, here are my suggestions.

1. Figure out if she still likes you
It's important to establish that if you seek to have a relationship as your end goal with her, you need to definitively know whether or not she likes you. This is especially true in your case as it seems like directly asking her out, after she's just moved on, might end in a bitter disaster. But if you're still keen on being honest with her, even if she doesn't like you anymore, then I'd suggest you go for it. There is a possibility that she'll reciprocate your feelings.

2. State your intentions clearly
It seems that you like her (if I'm not mistaken). Communication is important in clearing up misunderstandings, so go tell her how you feel mate! The more vague you make yourself out to be, the less progress you'll have in clearing things up. Do this by having a chat with her or something. It doesn't have to be planned nor formal, although you most certainly can make it that way. You can do this by inviting her to a school event or festival where there are opportunities for you to have a serious conversation. The atmosphere in these events are usually light to, so it can help better the mood when you guys are talking. You can also bring it up in a random conversation, if you feel like its appropriate. Or if you're a coward like me, do it through text. I'll have to warn you though that talking to her through text is not going to be as effective as meeting face to face, as it may lower your chances of getting a desired response.

3. Accept whatever answer she gives back at you
If she tells you that she doesn't like you anymore, then accept that and don't force the issue. I won't blame you though, if you'd want to try asking her out again, but I suggest you do this when the circumstances are right. Are you rekindling your old romance? Is she beginning to like you again. Those are some of the questions you're going to have to ask yourself, if you are to try again.

If she accepts your romantic feelings, then uhh... Accept her answer, and start being more sensitive toward her. Don't go overboard though.

Side Note: Okay, just because she likes ginger hair and you have dark hair doesn't automatically mean she doesn't like you anymore. It's a possibility, but not something that one should make conclusions from. I think she's just trying to test you out, and see if you have feelings for her. But then again, I could be wrong.

- - - Updated - - -

Another side note: I'd like to hear back from you if you're fine with that.

Thanks for your response. I read it all but i don't think it would help me. We had an argument about two weeks ago and we're not talking to each other since then. I'm still missing her and sometimes I wonder if I should text her, but she said "F*ck you" to me and even she didn't apologized me for that. I like her so much, but it was too offend for me, I don't think it's worth to text her unless she apologize me, even if I still miss her :/

[smackie09]

Obviously she's upset with you....keep your distance. You are right no one should tolerate such verbal abuse. Maybe she's not a very nice person after all.

[Anonymous456]

WOAH, SOMEBODY RESPONDED TO MY POST?! I feel like I can soar to the heavens right now. Thank you for responding!

That aside, I'd suggest that you guys take a break from each other. That usually helps lower the anger and tension, whilst giving both of you time to think. Also, try talking to someone you know in real life about this topic, and make sure its a person with experience and wisdom. As much as I'd like to help you out, there's only so much advice you can get from strangers on a forum. I barely know you, the girl you're interested in, and your situation aside from the story you decided to share. Cheers, I wish you and your situation the best!