Thanks for advice Jester. Your post totally makes sense. About not reaching out and moving on and finding someone new. But... I know this seems stupid and crazy and irrational but I just want to finish this bracelet and give it to her. Cause despite that everything seemed bad, there was short moments of happiness. She did affect me in a positive way in a long run. She did for me more than any other girl.
I watched this video about dating 3 months vs 3 years and she in a way acted like we are together for years - had this feeling even before when we were still seeing each other. Perhaps too comfortable and disrespectful but then again she really felt like she knows me.
It's not like I'm holding any hope or illusion that not everything is lost with her. I know that everything is lost, that things are ended. The only hope is that there is perhaps final words, something I can say or something she can say that could mean anything in a long run. Perhaps a single piece of advice or a little encouragement or words of wisdom.
And actually, I did hurt only for few hours. Feeling pretty ok on a daily basis. Problem is that I'm listening to a lot of music and music nowadays are mostly about love and pain so that's why its harder to move on. Also of course loneliness.