is he actually into me anymore

[michkath121]

hiya please be nice guys

My last relathionship was pretty bad. Found him cheating on me and it took some time to get over.


Im now dating and well iv met this amazing guy. His super good looking, always wants to see me, sends lovely text messages. Like its nice dating you know someone new its always exciting.


BUT something has changed. Right I do know his in the army I know that but It makes me a little wary iv never been in this situation before. Lately past 1/2 weeks he doesn't text me. He never asks how I am anymore. And when I ask if everything is ok he says its his job pissing me off. I suggest about going away somewhere for weekend and he says ill try get someone to cover me.

I just want to know if im being paranoid or his really not into me anymore.


I have asked him is everything ok with us and he says don't be silly I really like you. But I don't know I don't feel it anymore. For instance he always looking at my stories on Instagram snapchat but he never messages me. Like is he actually busy with the army? Or is It really he doesn't like me anymore.



P.S SORRY IF I SOUND LIKE A TWAT PLEASE BE NICE ITS TAKEN A LOT FOR ME TO START DATING AGAIN.

[Hooo!]

I get that you are scared.
The truth is: we don’t know
Only he does know
But if it’s bad news he is probably less likely to tell you, right?

I would suggest you speak to him directly concerning your anxieties and WATCH for his response. Feel if it feels right

Words only get you so far.

[michkath121]

so I have asked him is everything ok and he says his course is stressing him out

I don't know if his telling truth or not because his always online and it makes me slightly paranoid


: (

I don't know weather to just leave him to it and see if he will reach out to me. Theres not a lot more I can do.

[Hooo!]

Yes ofcourse there is more you can do
You can discuss this with him

Tell him how you feel and make him understand why and what you need from him and when
Find a solution together

[TheEvilJester]

Do you know if there is anything in particular that happened that may have caused him to recently be busier than he was when you first started dating? I just ask because you mention he is in the army. Even when there isn't currently a war or anything like that military service can still be VERY demanding, both on your time and on your body. So, there is certainly the chance that things are 100% fine between you two in his eyes and he sincerely is just busy.

Lately has he not been texting/calling you AT ALL? Do you two ever still have time to see each other face to face? Because if it starts to become a situation where you two never get any time together, he never calls or texts, etc. and if it weren't for you trying you'd probably just not hear from him.... then that certainly is not okay. Even if it IS just because he is busy and he sincerely DOES want to be with you, it doesn't change the fact that it still leaves you alone with him not making an effort for you.

So, I don't think I would necessarily jump to the conclusion YET that he is no longer all that into you. But, I agree with Hooo. Talk to him about it. And by that I don't just mean those quick little conversations you've mentioned where you ask "are things okay with us" he says "of course they are, don't be silly" and you leave it at that. I mean a more serious discussion. Tell him how you feel. As best you can, don't make it like you are blaming him, or demanding more time. Just that you want more time with the guy you like... that you understand if things get busy sometimes but as long as he can still make effort to show you are a priority that you will feel better. That if, for whatever reason, he just feels he is too busy for a relationship, you'll understand but he should just be honest with you rather than keep you wondering.

That, at least is my advice. Maybe it will turn out he's not that into you anymore... and as much as that would suck at least then you would know and could move on. Much better than having to torture yourself like this for longer. But, maybe he IS still into you. Maybe he sincerely HAS just been super busy and super frustrated/drained by work. If so, maybe he can find a way to balance things a little better if you two talk. Best of luck to you.

[smackie09]

tbph I don't see anything to worry about. There are no guarantees for a relationship to work out no matter what you do. So if you are stressing and being paranoid, I don't think you are really ready for a relationship with anyone at this time. Being paranoid, can make a relationship go sideways because you are questioning him, putting demands on him, and acting clingy. It's only going to get worse over time.