I don't know what to do

[Confused82192]

I am recently separated from my wife of 10 yrs with whom I have 2 children with. I am in a new relationship with a woman who I have known for a while now we became friends when I worked with her in the past. Here is where things get complicated I have fallen in love with her and she says she's in love with me and she has made plans to move in with me when I get my apartment in 3 weeks time or so she says. She is still in a relationship with a man she has been with for almost a yr. He works out of town Monday through Friday and during the time he is away she spends every moment we aren't working with me and she has even met my family. I asked her to marry me and she said yes and even wears the ring I put on her hand in front of the other guy. I love this woman and she says she loves me and acts like she does but she still loves the other man as well.i don't want to make her choose between the two of us.id rather be a second choice and still be with her then me make her choose and it not be me and I lose her altogether. My head is so twisted up I truly love this woman and I truly want to be with her I just don't know what I should do. And I think she doesn't know what to do and is not just stringing me along I think she loves both of us and doesn't want to hurt either one of us. By the way both me and him are aware of each other. What should I do

[bunnyhabit]

i suggest you slow down and get to know each other better before allowing her to move in with you. if she is on fence with both of you guys she needs time to settle on a final choice. have you and the other guy met in person to discuss feelings and background with her. is she planning to see the other guy after moving in with you? does it bother you she is romantic with both of you at the same time? is there any possibility of her romantic involvement with other men currently?

some chicks (like me) enjoy multiple relationships with one live in to support extravagant lifestyle and others who are just romantic alternatives. i have always believed variety is spice of life.

[Confused82192]

As far as I know she is not romantically involved with anyone else. Me and him have met in person but have not discussed anything like that. And as far as I know she is not planning on seeing him after she moves in with me but I am not 100 percent sure about that
All i know is that I love this girl and it kills me every time she leaves I hate feeling like I'm not good enough or that I'm always going to be a second choice but I'm not going to do anything until I see what happens after I move.

[bunnyhabit]

you don't believe she is in romantic relationship with the guy she has been with for a year? you are very naive if you buy that. good luck keeping up with this fox. where do you think she goes when not with you? you should watch her closely after she moves in with you. why you think you be second choice if moving in with you? her other lovers should be second to you in this arrangement.

[Confused82192]

No what I mean is I don't think she's romantically involved with anyone else but me and him i know she is still involved with him. As of right now I kinda feel like a second choice but if things go the way me and her have talked that will no longer be the case. I guess my main concern is us it really possible for someone to be in love with 2 people at the same time I have never been in a situation like this before.my ex wife was the first woman I had ever been with we got married in my senior year of high school the relationship lasted a lot longer than it should have because even after it turned toxic I still held on not because of the kids but because I was scared to be alone and I had such low self esteem and self worth I genuinely thought I wasn't good enough for anyone else I which is where the doubts I have about the situation I'm in now comes from i love this girl but I'm not sure how long to wait if things don't go how we talked about

[bunnyhabit]

from personal experience, it is definitely possible to be in love with more than one person for many people. that is why i previously asked you before "does it bother you she is romantic with both of you at the same time" ? i suspect she has no intention to drop her current boyfriend after she moves in with you. but just be secretive about him.

[Confused82192]

Trust is a big thing for me and I don't want her to go behind my back later on if she does move in with me what are some pros and cons of an open relationship where she wouldn't have to hide anything from me and how would I bring up that conversation with her and if we do end up in an open relationship what are some ways to deal with that type of situation if things like jealousy arise

[bunnyhabit]

this is a discussion you need to have with her. just tell her your honest feelings about allowing her to continue with him if she can't give him up. see what her honest feelings are after she realizes you are not demanding a monogamous relationship.

the pros are she will be honest and appreciative of your concern for her happiness as well as spreading her hormonal needs between both of her lovers. . the con is she may bring other guys into the open relationship. you need to tell her you are only willing to share her with this guy she still loves and you are hopefully she will be able to drop him in the future. because she will only love you. the other possible con is he better satisfies her sexually so she will spend more time with him and get knocked up with his child.