!!!Help Me Understand The Mind Of A Guy!!

[smuckerz]

My friend recently asked out the guy i like to go to the movies FOR ME but i didn't tell her to she just did. Anyway he said yea sure and i texted him to confirm wat he said and he said yes. Then to make sure he was serious i asked him if he was serious and he said he was. But after i texted him to see when he was available he said he had to figure out when he can go which i understand but he has yet to get back to me after 3 weeks about it. And i texted him just to tlk 3 weeks ago and he hasn't responded. So can someone please explain what this means cause i dont understand.

[GLYC]

I'd say he wasn't that interested. He possibly didn't know how to politely reject you, which, your friend kind of put him on the spot. Either way, he probably wasn't thaaaat excited. I mean, 3 weeks? Usually he will try to lock down a date asap. I could see waiting a couple days to figure the plans out, but yeah. 3 weeks is far too long .

Regardless. The ball is in his court. You stated you wanted to go out. I wouldn't do anything else.

Here's a good part to remember. Actions speak louder than words. Talk is cheap.
That will typically guide you to a person's real intent.

[smackie09]

This isn't a guy thing this is a people thing. People just simply don't like confrontation, or being put on the spot where they have to reject someone. He said ya sure to pacify the situation....to get away from it.

Here's a tip: go by their actions, not by what they tell you. He didn't ask you out, he didn't contact you, he didn't make plans. What does that tell you? Says to me "not interested".

Your mistake: you contacted him first assuming he would take you out. Your friend should mind their own business. Now you look like a fool. Give them crap for it.

[smuckerz]

Your mistake: you contacted him first assuming he would take you out. Your friend should mind their own business. Now you look like a fool. Give them crap for it.

Im honestly more at peace with the whole thing now and am taking steps to getting over him but since i cannot get the closure from him I came here for answers.
And what your saying is extremely true and he very well may not be interested in me anymore but I made no mistake. He told my friend to tell me to text him. Its not like i jusy popped up texting him about the whole thing cause i thought the situation needed more awkwardness. No he was the one that wanted me to text him about it. If it were up to me i wouldn't have texted him at all cause the date wasnt rlly my idea in the first place.

[smackie09]

You should have put the brakes on....and said "Hey, why isn't he wanting to text ME first?...why does he expect ME to do it?" If he was interested he would have contacted you right off the bat. He's being a lazy piece of crap. Next time don't do it....if a man is going to be a man he will contact you for a date. You got duped.

If a guy did that to me, that would so turn me off.

[smuckerz]

Yeah thats tru i guess but like i said before i wanted the closure to get over him and move on more in the process than i already have. I have taken many steps but i know that the biggest one was to get closure and this was me doing that.

[smackie09]

Well think of it this way...you dodged a bullet. He turned out to be a not so nice guy...he didn't even do you the courtesy to tell your friend that he wasn't interested. He just simply jerked you around.

[GLYC]

Eh, it's all no big deal. I think your friend was genuinely trying to do something nice for you,
I wouldn't take it personally. Like you said, now you can keep moving on.

Keep on holding your head up tall.

It's best to not take life too seriously.

[smuckerz]

Ok thank you

[MsLondonB]

Maybe it's me, but why is your friend involved in all this? Serious question. Asking him out for you, then he tells your friend to tell you to txt him??? I've never heard of this, except for maybe back in high school, and can't even remember that happening back then.

If I were the guy, I would find it all quite silly and THAT would turn me off.

Next time your interested in a guy, casually ask him for coffee yourself, and set a time and place, and avoid all this third party drama.

[TheEvilJester]

I agree with the others. Sounds like you've reached the same conclusion anyway, though. I will also say... I know your friend just thought she was helping, and I do think she's awesome for that.... BUT, I also agree that she should not have done that. She was out of line. I think she meant well, so I wouldn't necessarily recommend you tell her off or anything like that... but I do think you should politely ask her not to do something like that again. It would be one thing if she sort of casually brought you up trying to get hints to decide if he seems to like you. But, she should not have just come right out and asked him out for you.

My best friend actually used to do stuff like that. We'd be out and he'd casually say to random women "He's single, ladies" or "you two should go out" or something like that. LOL! It didn't bother me that much. I thought he was awesome for wanting to help. All the same, though, I did not wish him to do it for the same sort of reasons. There are definitely much more subtle (and potentially more effective) ways to be a good wing man.

As it is, I would personally suggest you just chalk it up to him not being that interested. I would suggest you just move on now. To be honest, I wouldn't even necessarily say you should hold anything against him. Sure, he could have just been honest with you if he wasn't interested. But, he was sort of put in an awkward situation. Not to mention, often times people think they are saving people's feelings by not outright rejecting them. They think they are doing what is better for the other person, but don't realize it often just hurts worse and/or drags things on longer. So, chances are he probably just thought he was letting you down easy.

So, move on, forget him, but I wouldn't say you should vilify him or anything. If you happened by him I wouldn't suggest you hiss, spit, and chant voodoo curses at him. LOL! But, if he can't see fit to give you his time then he isn't worth yours. If suddenly he reaches back out again then MAYBE you can consider giving him a chance at that point, but for now I'd just say you assume there was no interest. You will find somebody. Don't waste too much time on somebody you have to chase.