My bf and I have been together for 3 months (after committed). We started dating soon after we had met each other (9 months ago) but stopped in the middle b/c he was confused and didn't know if he was ready for a long-term relationship. Right before I almost moved on, he figured he's really happy to be with me and asked me to give him another chance 3 months ago, so I did.
Last night I talked to him b/c I felt he was kinda different in the past week, like doesn't hold my hand and we don't really talk about things. So yeah, he told me he was confused again (for nothing) and his feelings are different(not stronger or weaker, but just different) now. He has been honest w/ me all the time. He said he didn't want to mislead me and wouldn't have told me this if I hadn't asked those questions. He said he knows he overanalyzes things and thinks too much but couldn't help it. Also, he felt he wasn't needed by me b/c I am attractive, strong and independent. I asked him isn't this why he likes me, he said yes (what the $&*#!).
We emailed each other everyday at work and have spent a lot of time together. Both of us have tried to know each other better, but it's harder for me b/c he likes to keep things to himself and we come with different cultural background. But I just hate he isn't passionate enough and gets confused so easily!! I am 24, he's 25. If feelings change, I don't think there's anything I can do. But what the hell does it mean if feelings don't become stronger or weaker?! I just want to love someone who loves me. I don't want to deal with this "feelings" stuff again and again, maybe it's time for me to leave...
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Thread: Shall I go or stay?
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12-07-05, 12:00 AM #1
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Shall I go or stay?
"All we have is this moment, right here, right now. The future is just a ****ing concept that we use to avoid being alive today. So, be here now."
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12-07-05, 12:03 AM #2
Tone Guest
Okay.
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12-07-05, 12:57 AM #3
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It's hard to know when it's time to walk away. I'm currently in the same dilemma. Unfortunately, I have 4.5yrs invested. Given the shorter-term span of your relationship, it might be time to move on. Remember, the things that bug you about him now will only magnify with the relationship. People tell me that at this age, we're too young to be putting up with this type of junk.
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12-07-05, 02:51 AM #4
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You loved/love him, he loves/loved you, it's a good thing, nothing to regret. I had two serious relationships before. I never feel bad/sorry that they cost me 6 years(in total). I enjoyed it.
Thanks for your suggestion. My friends also think I deserve a better man. But he just sent me flowers half an hour ago!!!
Originally Posted by TAVS
"All we have is this moment, right here, right now. The future is just a ****ing concept that we use to avoid being alive today. So, be here now."
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12-07-05, 02:55 AM #5
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Flowers are the cheap, quick fix men resort to to distract women from issues...
But enjoy them, anyway.
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12-07-05, 03:06 AM #6
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::looks at bouquet:: Originally Posted by shh!
You mean these are just...?
::throws them in trash can and sulks::
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12-07-05, 03:08 AM #7
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It is always difficult to walk away from something like a relationship because you have found yourself something that's come somewhat easily and you are comfortable. With 3 months under your belt and you questionning whether or not you should leave ... maybe you should. I really shouldn't be saying that as I should be dumping my BF, but most of the time I can't get past the great times. I actually, in your situation, would ride this one out. Flowers do fix things quickly, but they are definitely a larger gesture than "gee sorry" while staring at his feet and fumbling around with his belt buckle. Just because he is confused doesn't mean he doesn't still love you. Love is a very strange thing and tends to change form when you are not looking.
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12-07-05, 03:10 AM #8
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I usually make a girl one of those gift baskets..They seem to enjoy it much more With many different things like candy, chocolate, coffee and so on. Originally Posted by shh!
-to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings
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12-07-05, 03:11 AM #9
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Sharp.
But I take things in a very simple way, either I enjoy or not. So I am not going to bother to think what he really thinks.
Originally Posted by shh!
"All we have is this moment, right here, right now. The future is just a ****ing concept that we use to avoid being alive today. So, be here now."
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12-07-05, 03:13 AM #10
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Ah. A true romantic and a gentleman. Very nice, Asip. Originally Posted by Asip4u
Speak less. Say more.
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12-07-05, 03:29 AM #11
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Me likes chocolate and coffee!! I think I love you, ASIP. It's too bad you are so damn young. Oh well, I guess I will just have to console myself with chocolate and coffee. Can you make me a basket even if you've done nothing wrong? Originally Posted by Asip4u
:-D
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12-07-05, 03:37 AM #12
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Me Originally Posted by shh!
Not
Young
Almost 35..hehe..j/k..25
Of course i'll make you a basket, shh!..i'll send it express ASIP..i mean ASAP
-to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings
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12-07-05, 03:39 AM #13
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I'M not too young, Shh!
::pick me! pick me! peeing all over puppy kennel::Speak less. Say more.
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12-07-05, 03:41 AM #14
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LMAO, whaywardj! Originally Posted by whaywardj
-to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings
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12-07-05, 03:49 AM #15
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I wish some of those younger girls would say things like that, shh!...Only women above my age seem to really connect with me. Not that i mind..hehe Originally Posted by shh!
-to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings
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