five months later....the first visit.

[TrueLove]

Ive bin there kid, only a couple days ago aswell. we had sex but it made me feel worse she told she still loves me & thinks about me everyday but she still doesnt want a relationship cause i hurt her so much. so my advice wud be stay at home & forget no matter how hard it sounds.

[Jsnowman]

How can she have sex with you and say she loves you and then state something like I don't want a relationship? I'd probably drive off a cliff if my girl did that. I am staying strong though. I've had time to reflect on this last weekend and what I said to her then did a 180 and stated that I really did want to stay in contact

I can't I will never move forward and she'll string me along until someone else comes her way. No way am i going to wait around for that. I've heard the phrase "what you don't know won't hurt you". I'm going with that philosophy. It's been four days since I talked to her... only a short time for I've gone almost two weeks w/o talking to her once before. I know I will feel better after a solid month of NC.

[artyemi]

Yeah, a whole lot better.

I stopped talking to my ex for almost a week, and I was getting so much happier. Starting to believe in the possibility that I'd be really happy alone. Really.

Now, I'm on a bridge that's probably breaking at one end.

Oh well. That's life.

[inkeepingsecret]

hey arty, what happened???

[Tone]

I've had time to reflect on this last weekend and what I said to her then did a 180 and stated that I really did want to stay in contact

I can't I will never move forward and she'll string me along until someone else comes her way. No way am i going to wait around for that.

Dude take it from me, someone who has been in that same position and made the mistake of saying "Okay" when she cried and begged to stay in contact.. "but you're my best friend.. I don't know what I'd do without you.." then go through years of BULLSHIT all because you decided it would be worth it, that if you can make things easier for her at the expense of you going through emotional hell, that it was alright. Knowing that you're helping her move on, while it's tearing you apart inside.

Don't be the fool, stand up for yourself.

[moonlight]

Jsnow, I'm in no condition yet to give advice. Someday soon I hope to be as pragmatic as the rest of the nice people here, so all I can say is listen to them.

Good luck man and be strong.

[Jsnowman]

Tomorrow will mark week one of the NC. I do feel a bit better but I know I have a long way to go. I've of course, thought about her everyday. As soon as I do, I force myself to think of something else. That works for the most part but the thoughts usually do come back. It pains me to think about how she won't take the chance on us again. I don't get mad instead dissapointed because I know I was what she wanted.

She was what I wanted but alas I could not give it to her. I wasn't saving it for someone else I just didn't understand myself well enough to let go of my fears and inhibitions. Sometimes I think that life is just not fair and if there is a god, why would he let this happen. Naturally I don't know the answer but the only thing I could come up with is that perhaps this needed to happen or I would never learn more about myself.

I could've been doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again, going through one failed relationship after another. Who knows such things?

I'll maintain the NC as long as it takes. I hope someday she and I reconnect like we did so many years ago. Only time will tell...........

[artyemi]

hey arty, what happened???

I keep telling myself that we could be friends. Didn't work. Never did.

But JSman, don't think that you're doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again. You can do something about. Even if there's a god, he can't watch over the relationship for all of us.