Love or Obsession?

[Ant]

Help me guys! Me and my girlfriend are close, really close and we've been dating for nearly a year now. It's just that, it seems that over the last few months her love for me has turned into more of an obsession. She's totally depressed whenever I'm gone, and I'm afraid to make engagements that don't have to do with her because she may be hurt. Is this unhealthy? I need some help here... I still love her, but this may become a big problem.

[Only-virgins]

Sounds normal to me.

[TenorTwo]

It sounds somewhat normal. Still, you should talk to her about it, before things go to far, and it's beyond talking. I made that mistake, and had a very ugly break up. So, do yourself a favor and do one of the best things in a relationship: Communicate.

[Tone]

Agree with Tenor.

[shh!]

I wish you had posted your ages, but if you are teenagers, I personally would worry about this kind of intensity. You should talk to her about it. I'm not sure it is healthy to be unable to do things without your SO being present, but then again, you aren't saying what kinds of things you are wanting to exclude her from.

[Ant]

Well I don't want to exclude her from anything! I love bringing her to all sorts of events that I'd enjoy normally, and she does the same for me. It's just that, for example, if I wanted to go hang out with some friends and have some guy time shee seems hurt by it.

[shh!]

Yeah - you should definitely be able to just hang with the guys without her pouting, and she should be hanging with her girlfriends without you pouting. The problem is that girls often abandon their own friendships when they meet a guy and fall for him, so when he starts to resume normal friend activities, she has no one to hang with. Encourage her to work on developing some close relationships with some girls. If she already HAS a bunch of girls to hang out with, but chooses not to, then I'd say you might have a problem. Ideally, I would think that hanging with the boys should be okay once a week or so (depending on each of your needs - this could be negotiated). Why don't you guys set up a night each week or so that each of you have to yourselves?

[Ant]

That's a pretty good idea Shh, thanks for the advice. It's just that I don't have much time too see her anyway, so I most probably wouldn't be able to schedule much of anything. Oh well, I don't have to work tomorrow and it's my birthday, so we'll spend the whole day together

[lilwing89]

Help me guys! Me and my girlfriend are close, really close and we've been dating for nearly a year now. It's just that, it seems that over the last few months her love for me has turned into more of an obsession. She's totally depressed whenever I'm gone, and I'm afraid to make engagements that don't have to do with her because she may be hurt. Is this unhealthy? I need some help here... I still love her, but this may become a big problem.

its totally healthy man.
obsession is a deep love.

[Only-virgins]

Well I don't want to exclude her from anything! I love bringing her to all sorts of events that I'd enjoy normally, and she does the same for me. It's just that, for example, if I wanted to go hang out with some friends and have some guy time shee seems hurt by it.

Lol. I would be more worried about this behavior if they are older. Old people being obsessed..thats just odd.

[TenorTwo]

Really, people are insane at all ages. I don't think dating gets any more mature passed high school. I've learned that some people just don't grow up, ever.

An older woman can still have psychotic tendencies, just as any younger girl. My brother's girlfriend is twenty-two, and she's more immature and needy than any sixteen-year-old girl that I've been with.

People are all crazy. Color, religion, age. It doesn't matter. People are just plain crazy.

[Only-virgins]

Really, people are insane at all ages. I don't think dating gets any more mature passed high school. I've learned that some people just don't grow up, ever.

An older woman can still have psychotic tendencies, just as any younger girl. My brother's girlfriend is twenty-two, and she's more immature and needy than any sixteen-year-old girl that I've been with.

People are all crazy. Color, religion, age. It doesn't matter. People are just plain crazy.

Yup, Its all the same. What the hell is mature anyways?

[BertIsMyHomeboy]

The problem is that girls often abandon their own friendships when they meet a guy and fall for him, so when he starts to resume normal friend activities, she has no one to hang with.

Boy, does that sound like me. I'm having the same exact problem right now and am trying hard to hang with people I haven't seen in forever. I sometimes feel like my boyfriend is spending more time with his guy friends than me, though.

[mini696]

Sounds normal to me.

Is she being controlling (wants to own you)? Or just curious (wants to be involved with you)? There is a big difference.