Using Jealousy on your girlfriend...

[Oomps]

I need some advice...

I have been going out with my girlfriend for 3 months now. I have known her for a long time before we went out. She had gone through a lot of guys before me and she knew that i did like her a lot. I finally managed to go out with her after her previous relationship fell apart like the ones before it...

Now here is my problem, I really really like her, almost to the point where i thought i loved her, but we seem to go through these cycles where she will give me the cold sholder and pushes me away. Im not clingy on her, and im not calling her every five minutes to see what she is doing, im going through this relationship like i have done with others in the past.

She is still a virgin and i know she is shy, but she has still yet to let me go past kissing her even after 3 months. She is always telling me she is sick, tired or any other amount of things that seem to be excuses to not do things. I have talked to her about having sex and going further than we have, i have also asked her if she is happy or not, she says she is happy and everything is fine each time i ask her.

I honeslty dont know what to do, i want to go further, and i feel i cant love her until we have been further than we have. Is using jealousy against her a good way to start things up? are there any guys out there that know how to use jealousy properly, and that has worked for them? she made me promise her i wouldnt fall for her friend even after i told her i wouldnt. So she has been jealous over me before.

I was going to try and act like i wasnt interested in her sexually and start flirting around again with other women, which i have done before and it kinda worked, but at the same time i am worried that i may cause us to breakup, which i really dont want to do, but if there is nothing to keep me interested then i cant see a reason to hang around.

all in all is jealousy the answer?

thnx for any help.

[apiman]

I personally don't think it's right to use jeolousy just because you want to go further with somebody; that's cruel in my opinion. If she doesn't want to go further, I'd either support her decision or look for somebody else as a permanent replacement rather than a form of causing jeolousy.

[IceQueen]

Using jealousy to get someone into bed is low. Period. Even if it did work.

Also, if you can't love her without having sex with her, you simply can't love her, and sex won't change that.

[Nice Lover Boy]

No, don't use it. Dont use the J word

[jane]

Originally posted by Nice Lover Boy
No, don't use it. Dont use the J word

yeah .. I have to agree... making a chick jealous to get her in bed? I mean.. "if you love her.. you won't make her have sex with you!" .. sounds just like the .. " if you love me,,, you'll have sex with me.." don't you think?

[Innova]

Originally posted by jane
y" if you love me,,, you'll have sex with me.." don't you think?

Grrr, that..I can't stand. ****ing @$$HOLES!! I can't believe that line is used on women.

[sfalexi]

Yeah. That line made it tough for my girlfriend when her first boyfriend used it on her. He completely took advantage of a "crush" situation when she was younger and used her hormone driven feelings against her with that line. Then he proceeded to treat her like shit, cheat on her twice, and that pisses me off cause she really is a great person and doesn't deserve shit like that.

If you're not in love with her, and are frustrated that you're not getting further, find someone who will go further with you and/or who you can fall in love with.

Alexi