Serious Problem. Please help

[hizahone]

My girlfriend is very upset about this issue. I think it shouldn’t even be a problem. I hope that everyone who reads this will leave at least a quick response. Thanks.

We had a phone conversation where I asked her what she was doing after work. She said nothing. She asked me what I was doing after work, I said nothing. She asked me if I wanted to come over, and I said sure.

I then got into my car, went to the store and bought groceries, stopped by my house when she called me. She had called me a few times while I was driving and in the store. I didn’t see that she called.

She called me when I was at my apartment. It was around 6:30.

Her side: She thought I was being inconsiderate because she was waiting for me, and she could have had other things she could have done if I had told her that I wouldn’t be there right after work – or that I would be an hour and a half late. She couldn’t leave the house or go anywhere because she was waiting for me. I told her that after work I was doing nothing, I should have told her if my plans changed so I wouldn’t have been preventing her from doing things she might want to do.

My side: I didn’t think I was being inconsiderate because I didn’t know she was expecting me to go there directly after work. I simply thought she expected me sometime that evening. I thought that the term “after work” was a general term and could mean any time after work. I thought that it would be ok to get groceries and stop by my house and then go to her house. I think that I had no reason to think she might be waiting for me at a specific time, and so didn’t need to worry about letting her know if I would be there two hours after work instead of 45 minutes (the usual time it takes to go directly to her house). If she may have needed to do something and couldn’t reach me by phone, then I think she shouldn’t be upset at me for that.

[jane]

her.. you said youd be over ,, she waited .. you should have told her that you wouldn't be right over...

but!!
She could have called you too.. and asked where you were...

its a tough call!

[Danny_B]

This really a serious problem?

Sounds like a misunderstanding, so just apologize (it doesn't matter who's right or wrong here) and the next time just think about what happened this time and don't make the same 'mistake' again.

I can't get over how you can consider this a serious problem, it seems petty to me - don't mind me asking, but is your relationship on the rocks at this time by any chance?

[IceQueen]

This is not why she is upset. This issue is only indicative of a larger problem.

I thought that the term “after work” was a general term and could mean any time after work.

Sounds like a cop-out to me. The truth of the matter is, that a person will be where he/she *wants* to be. She is offended that you didn't *want* to skip buying groceries altogether and fly directly to her on the wings of love, whereas she canceled everything (including going out to buy groceries) to sit there like an idiot waiting for you.

[K3vMySt3r]

well basically not everything is really your fault in my opinon... look people get busy and people miss out on something that seems important... lyke you could be in traffic and u're lyke GREAT this is going to take an HOUR! and theres nothing you can do... frankly i know she must be pissed, frankly i would be too, but as long as you tell her that you're sorry and she shouldn't just stand there and do nothing but wait, let her to other things... wow i finally understand how dogs feel when there alone...dAng!

[squirrley]

Dude this is petty games. Just tell her you're sorry, and next time you'll be more clear when you're coming. It's not that big of a deal really. Women can be brutal!

[jane]

we sure can.. it works both ways .. she should say she's sorry and so should you. I mean really .. it was a stupid arguement