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Thread: I "LOVE" work sometimes...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    70

    I "LOVE" work sometimes...

    Some days my mind runs
    ...a problem of mine
    I cant shut the brain off
    as hard as I try

    Headaches at work
    always add to the fun
    can I make it tomorrow?
    without bringing a ...?

    Heat in a friendship
    lurks in the dark
    a constant reminder
    fire starts with a spark

    Some things just need time
    they work themselves out
    but thinking about it
    just brings up more doubt

    The more that you think
    the more you create
    something so simple
    can push you to break

    Wouldnt it be nice
    to be built with a "switch"
    to turn off the "mixer"
    without some small "hitch"

    Just let your mind rest
    without all the racket
    in a "tailored to fit"
    little "mental straight jacket"

    Ive made it before
    and I'll make it again...
    "but what if now's different?"
    he says with a grin...

    My mind has some issues
    he taunts me for fun
    he pushes my buttons
    now... where is that...

    Does a sarcastic "I love work" poem fit in this forum? Just a rant here, last few weeks at work have been hell on wheels, if it can go wrong it will... and it'll bring friends... you know Anyways, just some creative venting after another LONG day. There is light at the end of the tunnel I think... I can... almost... see... Anyways, delete this if it dont fit the "love poetry" departments standards... its the best I can do today!!
    Last edited by Abraxxas; 12-08-05 at 11:05 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    3,111
    Cyborg - do us ALL a favour and DELETE this crap Poem from our collection!

    lol - i'm just kidding. I actually enjoyed it. Nice work.

    without being a bum! (an idea for 2nd paragraph)

    the poem kind of ends nowhere though, kind of blurry - but you must have done it on purpose for added effect! nice job

    i like the use of foreshadow about headaches at work

    usually poems are kept to the same stanza, but you keep switching, but it adds to the effect of confusion within you

    It's no Shakespear for sure, but it earns a spot on this forum, Well Done!

    If I were to grade your work, I'd give 88%, B+

    There's always room for extra credit, if you want that A though. lol.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    70
    Thanks for the insight and comments RSK, the ... in stanza 2 replaces the word "gun", as well is in the last stanza without actually saying it. Fun to see who figures that out and who dont.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    3,111
    Wow, your poem is more classy than i thought, you get an A+,

    That 'gun' idea was great! I don't know How I missed it. When I re-read it, it made complete sense, and the poem left me fulfilled (like any good poem) at the end. But i did feel a bit uneasy - maybe you should take some time off from work.

    anyway, hope things are great, and pleaes don't kill yourself (lol)

    and who is that guy that taunts you for fun? let me and the others know, we'll give you some advice on what to do! hang in there bud - you sound like a nice regular joe to me, the kind i'd like to have on my pickup basketball team or something.

    Take Care, and hope to hear from you soon,

    RK

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    3,665
    Hey, Abrax -- Reminds me of something Tom Waits might say.
    Speak less. Say more.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    [url]http://www.nyrock.com/interviews/waits_int.htm[/url]

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    I did not read the poem but man...I sure do hate work.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

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