Big problem, help

[whatshisname]

OK, as embarrassing as this is I gotta seek some feedback.

I'm a 20 y/o, athletic, male. I lost my virginity about 3 years ago but it was not easy. Me and the girl would always mess around, but anytime it escalated to taking all of our clothes off and trying to have sex I could not get it up. Once I did I couldn't keep it up long enough to get it in. I was so embarrassed. I knew it was all mental because I had no problem whatsoever getting hard watching porn/masturbating. Well after a couple times of having sex I guess I got comfortable with it and had absolutely no problems from then on. In fact I'd get hard over the smallest things around her and would be ready to go.

Well there has been 2 girls since her, each one time, and the same damn thing happened. I was able to get it in and finish but just having the problem of getting it and keeping it is ridiculous at my age. Is it anxiety? Also, my sex drive is nothing like it used to be. I'd always be in the mood to jack off back in h.s. now it just seems like ehhh. Is it a problem with the libido? I'm almost to the point of trying to find the hook up on Viagra to help out the first couple times with girls I meet. Sad.

Any advice?

[prissana69]

I don't have that "you-know-wat" of my own though, but i'm quite acquainted with my 20-year-old boy's you-know-what and its behavior.

At this age, I think you guys are becoming stressful in college studies.. life is harder now than it was during high-school of course. So i believe your mental condition is to be blamed here.. NOT your physical skill.
Okay i sound too serious, but my boyfriend [who is in our university football team] in that situation too during the game season and exam period too.

About the anxiety-- i think it could be the case there too. If you're in such an anxious state of mind, worrying too much about erection..you're too busy to enjoy the moment and let the lusty feeling rushing through you. So just relax..and dont be too concious of its progress- just let it be, naturally..

As for reasons concerning physical factor.. I think maybe your foreplay session was too short. Maybe the girl hadn't had the chance to tease you long enough but you decide to get it on her too soon. Hmmm.. or maybe they are not sexually attractive enough to make you feel horny..but that's for you to judge, I truely dont know.
I DO know, however, that Viagra is NOT a way out.. If your lil' brother has a hard time waking up around the girls (the latter 2)..then it could mean that the feeling between you and the girl isn't exactly there yet.. so don't force yourself, boy.. And you don't have to try THAT hard to please the girl by using such artificial medication! If you or your lil' bro doesn't feel like doing it.. then don't do it.

Hmm..but if you very determined to do it..i think you could use the following tip:

i think u should try to stall or sustain the foreplay stage for a quite a bit- smoothly, tho. like go down on her and let her moans call for your bro..i know he will get up at the sound.
Or..you get her to go down on you..guide her and tell her what you want.. make sure she stays there long enough..and just when you felt your lil' brother grows to just his macho size....get it on!

[MrYiyu]

Dear whatshisname,
I'm so sorry to hear that.
Perhaps,you could try Chinese Medicine.
Some of my friends'sex life who were frigid have muck bettered(The curing method is not to dose bitter drugs.)

[mikef]

Maybe you need more sexual arousal to keep your erection hard. Try to think about something that excites you very much. If it also won't help try pills that enhance sexual desire. I recommend ZuPro. After taking it I always have rock hard erections and intense sexual drive.

[some1there]

All men have problems with getting an erection at some point in their life! Even the cocky studs who read this now scoffing...but trust me, at some point you're going to have *some* difficulty. You need to find the source of your problem, which will fall in either/both categories of mental or physical problems.

At the moment your solution of viagra is actually meant for those with physical problems. You're running a risk of damaging the blood vessels in your penis (and ruining your future sex life) as it is unlikely that you have a physical problem (as everything seems okay on your own).

You have already considered a mental problem (anxiety) and this is far more likely! Though if you're worried it could be a physical problem then you really must be brave and ask your doctor! You may consider the following:-
1) There are a lot of expectations on guys to perform well during sex. This leads to stress and worse case onto anxiety...This becomes a vicious circle!
2) You get too excited too quickly. You have an errection during foreplay but it quickly diminishes before the actual act of sex itself.

The quick fix solution is for you to regain some control whilst having sex, don't let the girl "lead" you so much! Another thing is psyching yourself up, think to yourself "wow...I really wanna make love to this girl"...Maybe even tell her what you're thinking, I'm sure she would love it!!!