how many times can someone hurt you?

[*konstantine*]

I've already posted on here explaining the short version of the break up (its under chew me up or spit me out)....
today I seemed to reverse the month or so of no contact....i broke and seemed to do what seems like the only thing to do with an ex, besides wanting to kick them in the nuts.

He called and wanted to see how I was doing esp. since he knows i will be going away to school soon. He wanted to know if I could pick him up b/c he got me my 'birthday present'.
Before we always joked about getting a vibrator and I knew thats what it was...I don't really know why I went... in the past I was actually honry and just wanted to fool around, today when he implied this was what our visit was going to be I wasn't as attracted as I usually am, but I figured it would be just fooling around and that i could be more emotionally detached....

So we went out and....(use your imagination here)........ after he was like your probably right we should block and delet each other when u go back to school, I told him it wasn't something I was questioning and I already made up my mind that thats what I would be doing.........he said if thats the case he would really like to talk before I leave...
The thought of talking doesn't exactly sound appealing to me (yes for once I don't want to talk) I just feel like we've been over the same things way too many times, notthing changes, "he's confused thats why he's been treating me like how he has, he doesn't know want he wants, or who he is anymore" I've been hearing this for the last 2 years of our relationship he always talked alot about his dad leaving him and thats why he's afraid to completly trust and love someone, I thought by supporting him and sticking with him he'd realize not everyone will do that.......
I told one of my friends what had happened and she said she saw him with the other girl at the mall this week, they were holding hands and shopping together. It made me so angry to hear this, I know I shouldn't have done what I did but for some reason (probably b/c i said i don't want to be involved with you while your with her) I believed he wasn't with her anymore.
It makes me mad that he would let me have sex with him w/out knowing all the facts, and it hurts all over again to know that I spent 5 years trying to be there for him and support him and be loyal to him and he can turn around and give everything I wanted from him to someone else. As simple and sad as it is I would have liked for him to go to the mall with me when we were together, I would have liked for him to do anything with me (aside from having sex).

Thats all I am to him, and its more depressing that apparently thats my fault, I'd get mad when thats all we did or when he wouldn't go somewhere with me,
but do I really have to spend the rest of my life demanding ppl. to treat me right? It seems so depressing to think that I had a part in him treating me like shit.....

I don't know I"m just so upset right now, I don't want to talk to him before I leave or at least I don't want to have to hear what he has to say....I do have the urge to wrap up the vibrator (it wasn't used, we had the real thing) and send it back to him with a letter saying something like, "I don't want to talk about this anymore b/c I don't want to be with you, and it disgusts me that you could use and deceive ppl. like you have been all summer and i'd really want to add something that explains how stupid it is to judge which relationship you want to be in when all you do is have sex and I feel like he doesn't know me and I don't know him any more or at least the parts I do know I detest", or should I just send the vibrator back? or should I just try as hard as I can to ignore him for the next few days??????

[lilwing89]

keep the vib and use it

youll need it when your not ****ing him.

[*konstantine*]

it might cum in handy but i plan on finding something better this yr.

[lilwing89]

keep it till you do find something better

send it back when your done so he can savor the juices...hell its a free gift..sell it on ebay or something!

[Mish]

Hi *konstantine*

Someone has had trouble following my advice on her original thread i see

"Keep him out of your life and look for someone better. "

I know, it's not easy. Especially after a 5 year relationship. But you have to get through to yourself that you don't have a relationship with this "individual" anymore. All that's left is bits and broken pieces. The quicker you get through to yourself that its over, the easier it will be for YOU. What does that mean for you? For me it would mean that this person no longer exists and i would deal with that person as an invisible, non-existent person. I'm talking about not just ignoring him, but cutting him out completely from your life in every way you see possible, that's the only way you can move on. And you will have to move on because by the sounds of things he has moved on a long long long time ago and is way ahead of you...

Hope above helps. Good luck!!!

[Junket]

I've stopped counting a long time ago.

[*konstantine*]

Thanks Mishanya,,,

I hate that I'm making all the mistakes that I tell my friends not to make. I know it seems simple he's been showing me what he thinks of me despite what he's been saying.

I know I need to just move on and act as if he's not even here anymore, I guess I've been realizing I've been hanging around b/c I want him to make up for what he's done, it hard to accept that after being with someone for that long and giving so much of yourself they could be capable of treating you like this. Its hard to accept that he sounds like any regular jerk a girl bitches about b/c he use to be such a kind and decent person (well at least to me anyways).....

[Only-virgins]

Seven times.

[brkn dreamz]

Only you can decide when enough is enough. We can give you advice but it's up to you to take it or just ponder about it. I know how you feel. I'm in a 4.5 year relationship right now and it feels the same way about not going out and spending time going to the mall. I don't demand him to take me out I suggest it and if he says no I tell him I'll find someone else to take me then he get's more upset then it goes from there. No offense but some guys need a handbook on a relationship when most of us girls it just comes naturally what to do when we are in one. IMO

[TAVS]

No offense but some guys need a handbook on a relationship when most of us girls it just comes naturally what to do when we are in one. IMO

Thats too frackin funny. It works both way Dreamz. In fact, I dont think i've ever dated a girl who didnt need a handbook herself.