Need Some Advice

[Sash]

I'm new to these forums, but I need advice.

2 weeks after moving into my college dorm for my second year I met a girl in the cafeteria during dinner. We seemed to instantly hit it off. She was attractive, smart and witty and seemed very laid back. We continued to join each other for lunch and dinner when we would see eachother and I really started to care a lot about her. After a while I finally decided I would ask her out instead of pretending I was too nervous.

When I went to go find her I ran into her friends who lived accross the hall from her. They were telling me how they were hoping to get the girl I was there to see out of her room for once. It seemed a bad idea, but I asked them if she had a boyfriend, figuring I'd end a potentially awkward situation right away. They said know and said I should definitely ask her out and knocked on her door and stood off to the side. Which really annoyed me because it put me on the spot to explain why I was there. I asked her out and she seemed a little surprised and told me she'd let me know when she had the time. At first that struck me as an easy no, but I held onto the hope that she really was just busy.

So, I waited a few days and asked her if she'd found a couple spare hours, same answer. We both left town that weekend, so my best course of action without putting her on the spot was an e-mail. In the e-mail I explained how before asking her out I had asked around for good restraunts that had her favorite foods and learned where they were and told her I had asked her out because I really liked her and enjoyed her company. She replied that she was sorry she kept leading me on without a solid answer, she enjoyed my company, but wasn't going to date me because she was in love with someone else. We talked back and forth a bit and agreed to continue eating together and talking, just not date.

Problem is, now she seems to avoid me, which really bothers me. On top of that, once I allowed myself to finally see it, I know who it is she's waiting for to ask her out and he has no interest. Isn't there something that can be said for my asking her out? I try to show her she means a lot to me, but she looks past me to keep watching the other guy who could never see her again and not give it a second thought. I know this other guy isn't interested because he's an old high school buddy who already has a girlfriend and thinks of her only as a friend. I guess there's nothing I can do, but I know if part of the reason she said no to me was this friend of mine she's just in the same situation as I am. But, when she said she wa sin love she said she might not be sure. So, if I find out this other guy doesn't work out should I ask again? Regardless of how much it hurt to be turned down, I'm worried about her.

Thoughts?

[TAVS]

Be patient. Don't pressure her. Spend time with her whenever she'll allow and just wait for her to come around. If she likes you, she will. Patience.....

[Sash]

True enough, Thanks.

[mini696]

I agree with Tavs... No pressure, and dont look desperate. Sit with her at dinner every now and again, but try to give her space.

Its hard when someone has their eye on another person, because it will blind her to anyone else.

Just... Be her friend.

Mick

[Tone]

Exactly, be yourself and be her friend. Show her why she should be with you, you can still be charming while still remaining friends. One day she might realize it's futile to continue the infatuation with your friend and might start seeing you in a new light.

Besides if this is really gonna be somethin special and good, it wouldn't have been that easy now would it ;)