Hello

[heart_aegis]

Hello everyone,

You have a wonderful site here, I've read through a few posts and the quality and maturity of the topics and responses is very reassuring, it says a lot about both the people who visit the site and the administrators.

Anyway, on to the introduction! My name is James, I'm 22 years old, and for the past week or so I've felt like the loneliest person in the world. Normally when I'm feeling down I look to my friends and family for support, but I just don't feel comfortable discussing what's really bothering me with them.

I suppose I'll start from the beginning. Back in high school I was never very athletic, I was extremely shy (doubly so around members of the opposite sex), and I didn't have a lot of friends - not exactly the type of guy that most girls that age are looking for. My first two years of high school are a complete blur, but I will never forget my 3rd year, the year I met my first, and only girlfriend Stacy (please note that the names of those involved have been changed for their protection!).

Stacy and I had a wonderful relationship, we just kind of clicked, we did everything together, and I felt like I could talk to her about anything. The relationship was full of firsts: my first date, my first dance, my first kiss (I don't think I have ever been that nervous in my life). Of course there were bumps in the road, but we made it through, and I thought (and still think) that I was in love.

And then one day everything fell apart. Stacy's family was poor; we actually didn't go to our senior prom because she couldn't afford it and refused to let me pay. Anyway, her father got a job offer in the Midwest that was too good to turn down. She told me that after graduation, she and her family were moving, and after a few emotionally charged weeks, we said our final goodbyes.

We kept in touch for a while through email and phone calls, but eventually lost contact.

Fast forward 5 years, times are very different, and I’m a very different person, I eat right and workout 5 or 6 days a week (weight lifting and cardio), barring any unforeseen circumstances I’ll have a bachelor’s degree in computer science at the end of this year, I’ve made some friends, I’m quite a bit more outgoing, and in a lot of ways I feel better about myself. But in all this time, I haven’t asked anyone out or had any sort of romantic relationship.

Last week I got a letter in the mail from Stacy, she’s getting married in a few months. It was a real shock. I’ve got a lot of mixed feelings about it; on one hand I’m happy because I know that she’s happy. On the other hand I’m sad because I think that I secretly hoped that someday we’d get back together.

I don’t think that’s what’s really bothering me though, the way I see it the letter is a wakeup call. It’s long past time that I move on. I want to meet someone new, but I don’t know how. I’m confident in my personality and the way I look, but I don’t know where to go, and I don’t know how to break the ice. I mean it’s not like you can just walk up to someone and say, "Hey, if you’re not busy, wanna see if we can fall in love?" Hopefully some of you will have some suggestions for me.

Anyway, thank you to anyone who actually read all this, in a weird way it feels good to get it all out in the open.

[Only-virgins]

I thought love just happens? you dont look for it so there is no "place" that is specific for it. Anyways...interesting story and you should just continue your life and think less of this. At least your lucky enough to HAVE time to work out. Im pressed for time all the time. Welcome to the forums.

[Ellynn]

Hi and welcome!!

Yeah IM sorry to hear about your old gf getting married. I know that must have hurt to have found out about it. But you seem pretty mature with handling it.

There are other girls out there though. I know you want what you once had....but usually it just doesn't happen...at least not right away. I wish we could meet the one right away and fall in love and live happily ever after......but that sometimes takes a journey. I believe we meet certain people for a reason.....and even if it doesn't work out....we learn something from it....

Don't give up.....but definately get out there and flirt a little bit. Eventually you will find someone worthwhile and just talk to her. Get to know her...and take it a step at a time....

[Tone]

Welcome, guy.

[Junsui]

Welcome to the boards!

[whaywardj]

"Hey! If you're not busy, wanna see if we can fall in love?" sounds a like pretty good opening line to me.

[Vanilla Gilr]

"Hey! If you're not busy, wanna see if we can fall in love?" sounds a like pretty good opening line to me.

I thought so too. It's not something a woman would hear everyday and has kind of a sweet, innocent and yet hopeful tone to it.

It's definitly way better than "If I said you had a beautiful body..."

As a woman though...I wonder if your ex didn't send you that letter because she's still has feelings for you. Some people never truly get over their first love..

[Illusional]

whoa.. that is a long intro... *skips to next topic*

raverboy

[heart_aegis]

Hey again,

Thanks for the warm welcome. I think you're right, I managed to distract myself with other stuff all day and I felt better - I even managed to get some school work done.

I did make myself a promise though, no more dodging eye contact or just walking by, if I run into someone interesting who doesn't show signs of hating my guts (i.e. spitting, throwing metal objects, brandishing weapons, etc.), I'm going to try to strike up a conversation, I may even give that line a shot. I'm sure you'll be hearing more from me in the future...