I had an affair

[Promiscuity]

Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart.

[whaywardj]

How does anyone with an 8 month old baby find the TIME for cheating? You would have been better off focusing your attention where it should have been in the first place - with your baby.

She has her SO babysit. That's what my ex did, anyway. I was giving her break from mothering for an evening. Little did I know at the time our next door neighbor was giving her a break from me.

Lovestruck, you and your SO are probably BOTH too young to really know who you are altogether, much less what you really want out of life yet, and even less likely is it that either of you really prepared to be parents. I'm not being critical. Just relating what appears to be and, statistically ARE, facts. The odds are your current relationship will not survive your maturation (or his). You both probably need to come to terms with that very real possibility.

It doesn't HAVE to fail. But it takes a HUGE act of will power and, sometimes, strenuously applied discipline for young couples to weather the changes of their personal becoming and still see each other in the loving light with which they once shared vision. A key to doing that is to try and not lose sight of the person you love in the problems you may be having. Another key is to set aside any impulses for immediate gratification. A third key is to not spend a lot of time gazing into each other's eyes, but a lot of time gazing outward together, instead.

It isn't necessary or even advisable to tell him about the affair. That was your personal business. What you might want to come to grips with is why your personal business involves such things and, if you want to remain with him, do whatever it takes to change within you whatever caused it to happen. If you don't want to stay with him, leave him in a way that has the least negative impact on your child. By no means, stay with him for the "child's sake" if you really don't -- or can't -- love him anymore. That would only spawn resentments across the board.

Good luck.

[misombra]

that's good advice hayward. i wish i could elaborate so eloquently.

[shh!]

She has her SO babysit. That's what my ex did, anyway. I was giving her break from mothering for an evening. Little did I know at the time our next door neighbor was giving her a break from me..

Yikes - the furthest thing from my mind when I had an eight month old baby was screwing around. Aside from being preoccupied with the needs of the baby, memories of labor were still too vivid and the hormones weren't even back in balance yet.

[misombra]

maybe it is a hormonal thing. she could be having post-pardum depression...

[Lloyd95]

maybe it is a hormonal thing. she could be having post-pardum depression...

Post pardum promiscuity is more like it.

[misombra]

lol i guess so. but seriously, she does sound a bit depressed. lovestruck-maybe you should see a doc...

[Only-virgins]

Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart.

I hope you die. I hope you die a painfully slow agonizing death through the process of burning alive. Your posts are to large, to color-full, to stupid and retarded. If I had one wish in this world it would be to kill you. Have a nice day.

PS: I love your name...really brings out the...umm...whats the word...OH YEA!...slut in you.

[lovestruck]

I don't look at my son as the biggest mistake of my life. How can I when he's the only one that's gives me the will to face every damn day.
I guess I am depressed.

[Promiscuity]

whatever happens, you have my back. it'll pass. love ya.

[Ellynn]

Even though I would advise you to stay with your baby's father......obviously you aren't happy. If your not happy its not gonna make life easier on your baby........now....or in the future. Don't tie yourself down.....your young....and sure people make mistakes....but don't stay with this guy just for your kid. Do it for the right reasons. But if you truly aren't happy ....which I can tell you aren't....then get out of the relationship.

There are other people........and I can tell you are realizing that.... Find someone that makes you happy...... BUt mainly think about your child....and do whats best for the both of you.

[Only-virgins]

Even though I would advise you to stay with your baby's father......obviously you aren't happy. If your not happy its not gonna make life easier on your baby........now....or in the future. Don't tie yourself down.....your young....and sure people make mistakes....but don't stay with this guy just for your kid. Do it for the right reasons. But if you truly aren't happy ....which I can tell you aren't....then get out of the relationship.

There are other people........and I can tell you are realizing that.... Find someone that makes you happy...... BUt mainly think about your child....and do whats best for the both of you.

Welcome dr. Phill. Welcome.

[Only-virgins]

whatever happens, you have my back. it'll pass. love ya.

SHUT UP.


________________

[Apache]

Yes, great advice, so he can find out from someone else and shit will REALLY hit the fan!

And how is he going to find out? Are one of the people
she TRUSTED going to tell him?

Put things in perspective here. This is not a boyfriend/girlfriend
relationship we are talking about. There are three lives involved here.
She made her mistake and is dealing with it. And telling him would only
make another person hurt un-neccesarily, or maybe even make him leave
her and the baby.

Like I said, it does not serve any constructive purpose.

[Apache]

I don't look at my son as the biggest mistake of my life. How can I when he's the only one that's gives me the will to face every damn day.
I guess I am depressed.

You'll sort it all out. These feelings are quite typical after having a
baby. The permanent change in your life that occured can be overwhelming. Focus on your baby, if he gives you the will, and strength to keep going. And when you are strong enough (and you will be) you can look at your relationship, and see if its really what you want.

Right now you should be focusing on yourself, making yourself stronger.
Take a few moments each day for yourself, when the baby is sleeping, and
do something for yourself. This is important as it will help you see that after
all you are still you. Your life did not end, its just starting.