what do you talk about when introducing yourself to a girl?

[Tone]

You can get over it by not lettin happen again.

[bball_1523]

I feel like I've already put myself up in a mess. How do I get out of it? lol

[Tone]

How are you in a mess?

You haven't done anythign yet - as long as you still have an opportunity - there is still hope.

[bball_1523]

How are you in a mess?

You haven't done anythign yet - as long as you still have an opportunity - there is still hope.

well I feel like I'm making this out to be a problem rather than an opportunity so I feel like a mess.

[CircleC]

well I feel like I'm making this out to be a problem rather than an opportunity so I feel like a mess

Does it feel like you got on here for something rather simple, and now you find its all so complicated? People here tried to pump you up and push you where you "wanted" to go. But you didn't go man. And you've come up with a bunch of reasons(excuses) why you shouldn't do it. I think you could stop talking and thinking about this girl. You'd still have plenty of things to say and learn here. The hurdle in front of you is obviously higher than the ladder LF provides. So, now you need to work on lowering it. I can relate to all of this, thats why I'm saying it. I was told I should look within before I start to consider looking for love out of myself. People say this stuff all the time, but if you REALLY do it and consider it deeply, you will see (sooner than you might think), that life can be much easier and you can even stop second guessing everything you do.

[bball_1523]

Does it feel like you got on here for something rather simple, and now you find its all so complicated? People here tried to pump you up and push you where you "wanted" to go. But you didn't go man. And you've come up with a bunch of reasons(excuses) why you shouldn't do it. I think you could stop talking and thinking about this girl. You'd still have plenty of things to say and learn here. The hurdle in front of you is obviously higher than the ladder LF provides. So, now you need to work on lowering it. I can relate to all of this, thats why I'm saying it. I was told I should look within before I start to consider looking for love out of myself. People say this stuff all the time, but if you REALLY do it and consider it deeply, you will see (sooner than you might think), that life can be much easier and you can even stop second guessing everything you do.

well there's definitely no excuse for my not trying, and I will try for sure. I'm just in one of those shifting moods, that will probably disappear as the day goes on, then reappear, etc. It's like a cycle for me, one hour I'm feeling happy about things, next hour I think of all the negatives, then I get lost, then I come back to my senses. But yeah, I don't know if there's anything else that can be said now. I just need to go and do what I want to do.

[CircleC]

I just need to go and do what I want to do.

And if you don't do that, then do what, it seems, you need to do. Stop the cycle.

[whaywardj]

"...And how many words have I got to say
And how many times will it be this way
With your arms around the future
And your back up against the past
You're already falling It's calling
You out to face the music
And the song that is coming through
You're already falling the one that It's calling
Is you..."

[bball_1523]

"...And how many words have I got to say
And how many times will it be this way
With your arms around the future
And your back up against the past
You're already falling It's calling
You out to face the music
And the song that is coming through
You're already falling the one that It's calling
Is you..."

what does that mean? I am the beholder?

[bball_1523]

alright, so I plan on talking to her tomorrow (I didn't do it the past two days because I was stupid and chickened out, and today I didn't see her at the usual time).

Now after I've gotten a chance to talk to her for a few minutes, what else can I do or say? You think it's wise if I ask her if she wants to get some lunch sometime during school or something? It's because tomorrow I will most likely get one or two chances to talk to her for only 5-10 min, and that seems like it's too little for me, but as an introduction I guess it's ok. I just want to talk to her more, especially if I feel that my introduction phase went well. How do you think I could handle it if I've only talked to her for 5-10 min and won't see her until monday? What would you guys do?

I want to take it easy with her, unless she shows a lot of interest in me, then I'll have an easier time with her. Would hanging out be too early to ask the first time?

[gHEXjt]

Don't ask her to go out on a date right away, i.e. lunch, unless she seems, really, really in to you. At the most, ask for her number and see if she wants to hang out some time. Otherwise, just go with the flow and talk to her. If things go well and you seem to have something in common, then the rest of the conversation will come naturally. But it sounds like you usually have plenty of opportunities to talk to her. So unless she really seems into you the first time you speak with her, hold off on asking her to do something until you speak a few more times.

[bball_1523]

Don't ask her to go out on a date right away, i.e. lunch, unless she seems, really, really in to you. At the most, ask for her number and see if she wants to hang out some time. Otherwise, just go with the flow and talk to her. If things go well and you seem to have something in common, then the rest of the conversation will come naturally. But it sounds like you usually have plenty of opportunities to talk to her. So unless she really seems into you the first time you speak with her, hold off on asking her to do something until you speak a few more times.

well I see her every week and almost every school day mon-thurs, but not for that long, at least not when I'm available to talk to her. I'm afraid that I won't see her much, and I'd feel kinda down because I'd be excited to talk to her. See here I am analyzing every situation lol. Sometimes I hate the way I deal with these things.

Oh well, what would you do in my situation? Or have you guys ever been through something similar to me?

[CircleC]

Are you serious bball?

Are you still stressing this situation?

Why isn't 5-10 minutes enough to speak to her?

What do you want to talk to her about?

Do you want to profess your endless love for her in the first conversation? Let me tell you, you will NOT be receiving complete validation during this first talking-to. It's not gonna happen. Validate yourself, don't put so much pressure on this poor girl. I thought you liked her.

Do you want to explain to her the plight you have endured? The tragedy that has been your life since the moment you saw her. I'm sure that will make her feel great. Every girl loves to know how much she has made someone suffer. If you like this girl, maybe you should spare her your drama right now. I thought you'd realized that you had things to work out BEFORE going after a girl.

But if you're hell bent on doing this, well, c'mon, it's been said. Just say hello and talk to her. There are plenty of suggestions on how to do that in this thread already. You're beginning to worry me, my friend.

[CircleC]

Oh well, what would you do in my situation? Or have you guys ever been through something similar to me?

IMO, you are creating a uniqueness for your yourself that you CANNOT own. And in the process, you are missing the opportunity to claim the uniqueness that IS yours.

[Tone]

Well since absolutely NOTHING has changed since the last advice I gave you - I stick to that story.

Also, if you are nervous, and she can tell, asking her out to lunch the first time you talk to her is 99 out of 100 times not gonna work. You have to talk with her more to A.) Let her get to know you're not some creepy whackjob and B.) Get more comfortable with her so you can talk with her easier, giving yourself a better chance for her to say yes. I agree with gHEX, unless she's really diggin you, don't ask her out on the first conversation. You say you see her every week, so you have time to take things slow.