Some of you will remember me from my first post here, "Living together is not working out for me". My boyfriend and I had been seeing each other for 2 years, living together for less than 6 months - and I told him I thought it was best he get his own place (open to continue dating).
For a solid month after it was incredibly difficult. He stayed and stayed and stayed... and things were just insanely tense. I finally got him moved out just over a week ago.
The first 5 or 6 days were rough. He called non-stop, pulled in my driveway if I wouldnt answer the phone, etc. I finally had all of my locks changed and just resolved to lock myself in here until he calmed down.
It was never a case of me not loving him - just needing space to deal with a death in my family (and he was very needy and sapping up a lot of energy & resources). Our relationship had just got into a really crazy rut (on his end) - and I wasnt able to deal with it all right then.
Anyway... I had a quiet night over the weekend (children werent home) and he had finally calmed down, so I thought we might get together and try to talk like adults. Maybe it was a weak moment, I dont know - but I phoned and we met for dinner.
We had a wonderful time. I'm still attracted to him - even though I cannot trust him, am disappointed in our relationship and know that he has not treated me well. Nuts, I know. I'm not saying I want things back like they were - just saying that I find him attractive and wish things were different. Well, truth is, I'm heartbroken as hell over the whole damn thing.
Anyway, we had a great time. We had dinner and drinks, then got a room and watched our favorite shows and crashed together. (I didnt say it outright, but I didnt feel comfortable having him back to my place - major lack of trust).
Not a big deal - I came home the next day, went right back to my routine... it didnt really change a thing, but it did calm him down a lot and I think maybe opened a door for us to be able to talk things out like adults from here on out (things like will we date... or when is he going to get the rest of his things... or whatever - I dont know).
Let me just say this - I know a person doesnt change overnight. I just wanted to see him, I did, and it was great. Wish it could always be like that, but I know better.
So here's where it gets weird.
A friend of mine calls me today - one I hadnt talked to in a couple of weeks. She was asking me about how things were going with he and I... and I said that things had been rough, but that we actually went out over the weekend and managed to have a good time together.
And she says "then he went to jail, right?". I just laughed and said "well no" and went on to finish the story of how the night went. So she asks "he didnt go to jail??" as if she was shocked he didnt. I laughed again and said "no of course not - why would he go to jail??"
She had seen him out the morning before. At a place where a lot of our friends hang out or meet for lunch. They had asked him why he didnt come out that weekend, and his reply was: "I went to jail that night"
She proceeds to tell me the entire story. The odd thing is that he used the details of OUR night out - but totally twisted it. Same town, same restaurant, that he was having dinner with me... but then instead of dropping it at that - or telling the rest of the truth - he tells these people that he had too much to drink, and went to jail for PD (public drunkeness). That the bartender cut him off, and he threatened to kick the bartenders a** over it, then went to jail. He told them he spent 4 hours in "the tank" and that I bonded him out.
(I had to laugh at that last part - I would NOT have bailed him out! laugh)
I cannot figure out for the life of me why he would tell such a blatant lie. What could he possibly gain from that? And he should have known it would get back to me, considering I had come to be friends with this lady. It just blew me away. I mean completely blew my mind.
I have sat and heard him lie to his boss. Lie to his son. Heck, I've even listened to him like to me straight to my face. I've always know he was one to lie. And maybe I just accepted it was a major flaw of his (which makes me really wonder whats wrong with ME)... but most of the time it seemed he lied to keep from hurting someones feelings or keep from upsetting someone.
I cant understand lying for no reason at all. Any insight into this?
He doesnt know I know this story. And I'm not even sure its worth bringing up (he always has a lie to cover a lie - it just goes round and round). But I am seriously starting to second guess myself on this whole situation... and it raises some major concerns for me.
Even more odd is that I had both breakfast and lunch with him yesterday - the day he told this story. It was our 2 year anniversary, and we had agreed to go out and eat together. It was a little awkward, but not bad. Anyway, he went out there and told that big lie in between those two meals that we met for... I look back on it now, and I think "do I even know this guy??". How could he be nice and be such good company - and then tell that crazy story - all in the same morning?!